Top 3 Tips for Choosing Best Poker Chips for Your Home ...

I was asked to make a post about some stories within the Casino grounds so I thought I'd share. I have many so I'll do my best to pick the better ones.
Some back information: I've been a Casino Dealer for 11 years, I've been a supervisor for five years, and I've been a Surveillance Operator for one year. I've worked at three properties, none of which are connected or owned by the same company. I've worked on : Government/Private/Native American owned casinos.

From Hero to Zero.

At my first Casino, I was one of the first group of people who were trained to deal Roulette . After 4 weeks of working 6PM-3AM then doing roulette training from 3AM-8AM (Not paid) , I actually really enjoyed the game and after about six months I became extremely quick at the number game and the pace of the action was steady with very low margin of errors. Young man walks in, cashes in for $500. He buys in for $2 chips and just loads the board. After a few spins and pretty decent hits, he then changes his chips from $2 to 5$ then to $10 and racks his winnings up to $10,000. It was then, five spins in a row, he loaded the board with some pretty gross bets, and every spin I would hit the ONE number with either NO CHIPS on it, or maybe 1 chip , He lost all $10,000 in a matter of minutes. He leaves , and I go on break. After my break I was going back to the same table and wouldn't you know it, the same young man walks in and cashes in another $500. He tells me he just sold his car outside and this is all that he had left. So we do the same deal, buys in for $2 chips, then slowly starts betting $5 chips, $10, $25...and he makes $10,000 AGAIN. Within the next 25 minutes it was straight agony. Every spin, same thing, he would bet $2500 in chips, and win only $250, $400, and after about a half hour he lost it all . Never saw the guy again.
2) Man down
At this property, we are 24 hours for table games. It's currently 5AM , and I'm dealing some $25 Blackjack to this guy. He's probably early thirties , heavy guy. He's sober as can be, but right away I can tell he's been losing. We know how much you've bought in for, how much your down, or up, and I could see he was down $2000+. After about twenty minutes of pure losing, his temper starts to flare.At this point I now have two other guests at my table. Drinking coffee, not saying a word, just losing their money. After losing hand, after hand, this guy looks me straight in the eye, seized up, starts shaking, he can't move. He tries to punch towards me and smashes his stack of chips all over the place and falls backwards to the floor. I call for security, we cannot touch him due to liability . I can't move from my table because, well, liability / casino cash property, all I can do is try to talk to him. As I'm doing so, these other two woman who are sitting at my table just look at me and one says "OK, dealer, cmon lets go " as she taps the table telling me to start dealing and forget about the guy having a stroke on the floor. As security takes him to the ambulance out front, I had to stay behind for a couple minutes and give a statement. I go on break. I come back, and 45 minutes later, he comes right back in with a oxygen tank and keeps gambling for the remainder of the morning.
3) You get a dildo, and YOU get a dildo!
On a late summer Saturday night, we had a large event for these massive muscle guys/strongman competition type thing. After their show, I'm at the roulette table , and five of these boys come over to play. They were absolutely hilarious. They were feeling pretty good, cashed in somewhat large amounts and I could tell this was going to be a fun time. After about a hour of dealing to these guys, it's almost midnight, everybody is pretty hammered , I spin the ball, and all five of these guys take out these god damn (what I can only tell was) two feet purple dildos from inside their pants, and wiping them around in the air. The ladies were just loving it, one of the dildos landed in the roulette wheel and we had to shut the table down to re-calibrate the wheel to make sure nothing had been changed. I just remember that night was so much damn fun, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I would never forget it.
4) Full Moon
On this day, I was actually training dealers / supervising them on small games like Three Card poker. We opened the table at 10AM, and this older man came and sat down . He played all day. The jackpot was $21,000 and that was pretty high for this table. He played, and played and played. He's one of the players where you know he's wearing a diaper because he's been drinking coffee/pop all day and hasn't moved in eight hours. As the day went on, this man never moved from his chair. Getting closer to midnight, he was aggravated and said "I need to go have a smoke, I'm getting killed in here". He left, and the very next hand, the lady beside him was dealt the jackpot . He didn't say much, but you could just tell he just hated life at that very moment because had he not gotten up, it would of been his hand. The man calmly took his cane , his hat, jacket, coffee, and left. The next morning I found out when he did leave he drove his car straight through his bank and was arrested.
5) Slick Robber
I actually give props to people who can actually pull this off. This story may confuse you so I'll try and explain things as best as possible. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in HIS $100 bill. He doesn't gamble it, instead he hits the cash out button and gets a $100 TITO ticket where he then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100. Now remember, his Original $100 is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same machine, and repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially he's taking money from the ATM, and loading up the Slot Machine . Now he knows he can't do it too much because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out. So he deposits over $10,000 , then has a small crowbar, he cracks the machine open and makes a run out the front door. To my knowledge he was never caught . But damn, that was pretty smart .
EDIT:
6) Mental Health is a thing.
10PM man walks in to play some high limit BlackJack. This guy knows the game and played well. Dressed nice, drank juice/tea , a little bit of a attitude, cashed in over $10,000. When this man was half way down his buy in, he said something a long the lines of "If I don't win here tonight, I'm going to go set myself on fire." I wasn't sure if he was serious because when people are down, they tend to say a lot of nonsense. I actually left early that night, and from a third party was told he did exactly that in the parking lot. The next day it was clear something terrible had gone wrong in the parking lot .
EDIT:
7) Nothing good happens after midnight
After a busy Saturday night, I was dealing a mix of games, and during this story I was in the middle of Blackjack. I had one young kid (probably 19) sitting in the middle, one older male probably in his later 40's sitting beside him on his right, and I had a really nice couple in their 20's sitting together at the other side. This young kid wasn't playing just sort of watching, and ever time the old man won he would give this young guy some of his winnings. The older man, was a wine drinker, and he had black between all of his teeth, I'll never forget. He's a little drunk but nothing terrible. As the night goes on, the older man goes and uses the washroom, at which point the couple asked the young guy "Oh was that your dad?" and the young guy says "Hah, no I wish!". The couple and I just looked at each other. This old guy, was in complete control over this kid. Absolutely disgusting. The night ends, and I find out the couple called a few of their friends, and they all waited outside by this old mans truck and beat the living hell out of him. 40 years old, sleeping with a 19 year old, completely brain washed . Very weird.
8) That one co-worker where you just wish they would quit.
One of our co-workers, nice guy but had a very big ego and we as employees just sorta left him alone. One day he had enough of the atmosphere and quit. Now usually when you quit, you cannot come back until you paperwork is finalized. How ever, HR was in that day, and he was given the paperwork the very next day. He came in, cashed in $1000, and made $50,000 in about a hour at the Baccarat table. My manager, was extremely annoyed, because now this guy is just mocking the casino and having the time of his life (Thanks for the big tip by the way :) ) and so he decides to call it quits. He wants to ban himself and he wants $50,000 in cash. The casino says Nope, we are going to give you a cheque. Now here's the thing, most business people will take the cheque, how ever you CANT CASH the cheque until the following monday because it's on that day where the funds are available. The casino on the other hand will cash their own check in anytime , because they want you to play. So this guy pretty much said go to hell I want my cash, and he called the police. Police show up, and management promptly gave him the cash.I though it was absolutely hilarious .

9) No good deed goes un punished
I was dealing Three Card Poker, and the jackpot was around $17,000. This old man (a regular) was sitting there all day grinding it out. Super nice guy, always a pleasure to deal to. Well, after hours of playing, he stands up and says "Hey john!, can you come here for a minute?" so his buddy John comes over. He says to John "I need to go take a piss real quick, can you play my card until I get back?" John agrees . John takes the chips and I stop him and explain he can't play his friends chips, he needs to cash in and play his own. And he does. Welp, second hand out and bam, doesn't he win it. The old man comes back and is so happy, he can't believe it. John, took his $17,000, didn't say a word to his "buddy" and walked away. I never felt so much hatred in all my life. Didn't give him a dollar, not a thank you, nothing. The old man sits back down again, the progressive resets to $2500, and he sat there grinding away again.
10) The Top Knot
I had this player , young guy, who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty big sizable amount of money, so he played poker every single day for the rest of his days. I will add, he IS a good player. I did not enjoy his company just because of the "Know-it-All" attitude, but he was good. We'll call him John. John is 5'10, and well build, with muscle. John also decided today was the day to show off his Top Knot. (google top knot if you're not sure what I mean) So he sits down, and he's absolutely KILLING the table. Every hand, after hand, after hand. And because he's in such a good mood, he's playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he's just dominating. This one guy at the table decided he had enough. He got up, without saying a word and left. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind John, and takes a pair of scissors , and cuts off his Top Knot. I for one couldn't believe it, dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day.
11) That one bad seed
One of my best friends who I haven't seen in YEARS ended up being part of the crew. Was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself . He wanted that 10/10 woman. A mansion, and a new Corvette. So every month or so we would all go up to the other casino to play. I myself would bring no more than $500, but I couldn't understand how this guy (we'll call him Kyle) was spending THOUSANDS of dollars at the tables. So this wen on for a few months. Well, one day, as we're closing the casino, he and I are in the High Limit room and we're getting ready to close the tables. We are told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper and that's it. Well as the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked Kyle to grab the piece of paper. As he bends over, a great big $500 chip falls right out of his sock. Kyle was fired immediately , but it all made sense. They offered Kyle a deal where if he replaced all the stolen chips they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out.
12) If I ever decide to write a book, this will be the last chapter: <3
After working at my first Casino for five years, I met a Indian woman who was visiting from another part of the country. During this time I was explaining a game to her, which honestly I don't think she even cared. She explained she was visiting and sight seeing , and that was that.Well, two years later I ended up moving to the other side of the country and transferred casinos, and low and behold she worked there as a Dealer. We got married , and it's been 5 years.
13) The Tip
One of our tables that we've had for a couple years had a progressive jackpot that had reached $100,000. The dealer at the table was sitting pretty lonely. Nobody really played the game because people knew it was extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush. This young guy sits down and says to the dealer, we'll call him John. "John, if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000" Well John started dealing, and about a half hour into his shift, he F*cking did it. He dealt him the royal. And you know something?This young lad, kept his word, and he made sure there was a audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there. That pay cheque was real nice. I think we all got about $500 more than usual. The moment that jackpot was awarded they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I'm sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special .
14) The Lawsuit
Now this story I'm going to have to beat around the bush a bit due to the nature of what happened. I can't won't answer any questions that you may have on this topic other than what I have to say because it had a lot of publicity . The waitresses at this casino had to wear very thin sexy clothes. Not borderline legal, but it was noticed. One day they called all the waitresses to come in and explained they were changing their outfit to something even more sexier. Now these new dresses were very very borderline legal . The staff said No way. We're not wearing that.So , friday night comes, and the staff work their whole shift, then at the end of their shift were called into a meeting and were all fired. Welp, one of those ladies father was a pretty big time lawyer. Brough the casino to court and won. They won big. Good for them. We had no waitresses for a couple days haha.
Thanks for reading along, I have many more I can add as the day goes on, those were just some off the top of my head. Feel free to ask any questions of the Casino industry. I don't really have many stories about the surveillance department because that's the one area where I can't really say a whole lot due to its privacy and contracts I was and still am under.

A list of every Unus Annus video name

I made a list of every Unus Annus video name. Posting this here because someone wanted to see it and a comment doesn't allow more than 1000 characters.

November 15th - Unus Annus
(note- The Very Start.)

November 15th - Cooking with Sex Toys
(note- 365 Days Left)

November 16th - Purging Our Sins with a Net Pot

November 17th - Hot Dog'd to Death

November 18th - Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank

November 19th - The Good Kind of Cupping

November 20th - The Bad Kind of Cupping

November 21st - The Worst Kind of Cupping

November 22nd - Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

November 23rd - Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark

November 24th - Baby Hands Operation

November 25th - Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost

November 26th - 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition

November 27th - Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surpise...)

November 28th - Play-Doh Thanksgiving

November 29th - Helium Therapy

November 30th - Drawing Memes From Memory

December 1st - 1 Man 100 Accents

December 2nd - An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die

December 3rd - Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond

December 4th - The Cubby Gummy Challenge

December 5th - We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It

December 6th - Mark and Ethan Attempt and Escape Room

December 7th - Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat

December 8th - There's Still Hope...

December 9th - Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral

December 10th - The Great Meat Mistake

December 11th - Acupuncture Is NOT Painful

December 12th - Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank

December 13th - Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom
(note- Paintball gun)

December 14th - We Made Nude Pictures of Eachother

December 15th - You made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win

December 16th - We Had To Drink Each Other's Pee
(note- The first of the Pee Trilogy)

December 17th - Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement

December 18th - Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button

December 19th - Ethan's Relaxing and Totally Normal Naul Salon

December 20th - Taped and Afraid

December 21st - What Was The Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?

December 22nd - Donating Toys to charity w/ JackSepticEye

December 23rd - Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy

December 24th - Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)

December 25th - Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will

December 26th - Preserving Ourselves In Wax
(note- JackSepticEye was also here!)

December 27th - Beating Inanimate Objects to Death

December 28th - Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is worse?

December 29th - Duct Tape Crusifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video)

December 30th - You Blink You Lose

December 31th - 2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test

January 1st - We Took The Polar Plunge

Janurary 2nd - Hiding Out Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers

January 3rd - We Eat Bugs

January 4th - DIY Bungee Jump (Please don't try this)
(note- Disclamer Song Origin)

January 5th - We Have The BEST Thumbnails on Youtube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise

January 6th - Who Can Make Themselves Taller?

January 7th - The Sensory Overload Tank

January 8th - Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

January 9th - We Took an IQ Test

January 10th - Ethan Fianlly Becomes a MAN

January 11th - Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping

January 12th - We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins

January 13th - Learning to Breathe Underwater

January 14th - Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God
(note- The hole made in the video where Mark punched a hole in the wall)

January 15th - Mark Steals Ethan's Face

January 16th - You Breathe You Die

January 17th - 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa

January 18th - DIY Geriatric Simulator

January 19th - This Is How We'll Die...

January 20th - We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

January 21st - This is What Being Tased Feels Like

January 22nd - What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies?

January 23rd - Bad Bad Beans

January 24th - We hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams

January 25th - We Turned Our Bodies Into Art
(note- painting each other naked)

January 26th - Mark and Ethan Lean About The Human Body

January 27th - Mark Punishes Ethan

January 28th - Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

January 29th - DIY Cheese

January 30th - Hacking The Very Fabric of the Universe

January 31st - Looking at Long Lost Memes

February 1st - Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life

February 2nd - Turning Mark Into an E-Boy

February 3rd - Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

February 4th - Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

February 5th - An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal

February 6th - Literally Eating Fire

February 7th - Unregulated Axe Throwing

February 8th - Literally Laying On Broken Glass

February 9th - Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

February 10th - Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game
(note- First of the Nutball Trilogy)

February 11th - Becoming a Master of Mime

February 12th - Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other bit It's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

February 13th - Are We Already Dead?

February 14th - Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day

February 15th - Drunk College Party Simulator

February 16th - 10 Strange Amazon Paroducts Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How To Spend Money Responsibly

February 17th - Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death

February 18th - 3 Big Boys Attempt the Kings Royal Fitness Test

February 19th - Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog

February 20th - Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery

February 21st - The Ultimate Trolley Problem

February 22nd - Goat Yoga

February 23rd - Edible Slime was a Mistake

February 24th - Granting Acces Into Heaven's Sweet Gates

February 25th - Long Hair, Do We Dare?
(note- With Marks Quarintine Hair, yes, he did dare)

February 26th - We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes

February 27th - Mark and Ethan go on a "Drum Date"

February 28th - Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass

February 29th - Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On

March 1st - Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition
(note- Second of the Nutball Trilogy)

March 2nd - REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo

March 3rd - We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us

March 4th - Becoming the World's Greatest DJs

March 5th - Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?

March 6th - Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death
(note- Owl pellets)

March 7th - DIY Chiropractor

March 8th - Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight

March 9th - The Barrel - Offical Music Video

March 10th - We Got Pepper Sprayed

March 11th - We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded

March 12th - What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?

March 13th - Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)

March 14th - Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him

March 15th - 2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes

March 16th - Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell
(note- The video where Pee Sauna was first mentioned)

March 17th - Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals

March 18th - Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast

March 19th - 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death

March 20th - We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator

March 21st - Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth

March 22nd - Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers

March 23rd - We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course

March 24th - Desperately Trying To Not Touch Our Faces
(note- Start of Quarintine videos)

March 25th - Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition

March 26th - Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt

March 27th - Having an Adventure In VR Chat Becuase We Can't Go Outside

March 28th - Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse

March 29th - Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?

March 30th - Ultimate Youtuber Boxing Showdown

March 31st - The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogalo
(note- This video was deleted for an unknown reason)

April 1st - Where in the World is Unus Annus?
(note- Timer was at 401 days)

April 2nd - Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time

April 3rd - Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless

April 4th - Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies

April 5th - We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games

April 6th - We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins

April 7th - We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate

April 8th - Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Nae a Single State in the USA

April 9th - Speed Reading 1000+ WPM To Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge

April 10th - What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube

April 11th - We Found Websites That The World Forgot About

April 12th - The Scariest True Stories on the Internet

April 13th - How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend

April 14th - Mark and Ethan Find The Lost City of EL Dorado

April 15th - Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race

April 16th - The Creepiest Videos on Youtube

April 17th - Help Us Break a YouTube World Record
(note- The birth of Norbert Moses. The video was called "Subscribe to Norbert Moses")

April 18th - 2 Men 200 Accents

April 19th - The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?

April 20th - Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis

April 21st - Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories

April 22nd - Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test

April 23rd - Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It?

April 24th - Running Internet Drama through Google Translate

April 25th - The Secret Unus Annus NO-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake

April 26th - Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty

April 27th - Bored? Press This Button.

April 28th - Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever.

April 29th - We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries

April 30th - We Looked at Unus Annus Memes

May 1st - Is Mark a Masochist?
(note- yes.)

May 2nd - What the Hell is a Pink Trombone?

May 3rd - Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020

May 4th - Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something

May 5th - An A.I. Generates Out Worst Nightmare

May 6th - Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?

May 7th - Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like

May 8th - Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?

May 9th - Unus Annus ASMR

May 10th - We Attempted to Create THICC Water

May 11th - Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise

May 12th - How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men

May 13th - Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

May 14th - Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

May 15th - The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here...
(note- The Halfway point)

May 16th - We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

May 17th - How Big Can a Nuke Get?

May 18th - How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?

May 19th - Drinking Real THICC Water... How Bad Does It Taste?

May 20th - We Played Strip Poker
(note- Mark lost so badly. Ethan also cheated on the first game)

May 21st - Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End the World aAs We Know It

May 22nd - Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

May 23rd - We Played the Newlywed Game While Consuimg That Which Will Kill the Other

May 24th - DIY Boob

May 25th - We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube

May 26th - The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

May 27th - DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080
(note- Mark will be 90 and Ethan will be 83)

May 28th - Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video
(note- Unus vs Annus. Most Likes to Win.)

May 28th - Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video
(note- Annus vs Unus. Most Likes to Win.)

May 29th - Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THE VIDEO
(note- Annus Won)

May 30th - DIY Wine

May 31st - Tearing a Phone Book in Half with Our Huge Manly Muscles

June 1st - 2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition

June 2nd - BLACK LIVES MATTER. Resources and How You Can Help in the Description.
(note- This video was 8 Minutes and 47 seconds of silence)

June 3rd - Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs

June 4th - Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses

June 5th - Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes

June 6th - Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics

June 7th - Ethan Roasts Mark of 15 Minutes Straight

June 8th - There's Something Horribly Wrong with This Picture...
(note- When they made their own creepy photos)

June 9th - Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

June 10th - Mark and Ethan Become United State Citizens

June 11th - We Made Fanart for Each Other

June 12th - Our Fans Try and Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

June 13th - Recreating Childhood Photos

June 14th - Will We Break the Boards... Or Will They Break Us?

June 15th - Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet

June 16th - Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views

June 17th - Pee Sauna
(note- The end of quarintine videos. Second of the Pee Trilogy)

June 18th - Building IKEA's Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instruction is Impossible

June 19th - Becoming One With the Horse

June 20th - The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown

June 21st - Creating Mark FISHbach
(note- Origin of Mermer

June 22nd - Leaning How to Lock Pick (FBI Please Don't Watch)

June 23rd - The Most Dangerous Shave

June 24th - Ethan Traps Mark's Soul in the Palm of his Hand

June 25th - Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot For An Elegant Beast

June 26th - 2 Men In a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies

June 27th - Building the World's First IKEA Boat

June 28th - Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim

June 29th - 10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw on Planet Earth

June 30th - 2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out with Soap

July 1st - Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof.

July 2nd - Recreating Mark's Childhood

July 3rd - We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler

July 4th - Dummy Thicc for Dummies | A Tale of 2 Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond

July 5th - Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity From Benjamin Franklin

July 6th - The Candy Bra Challenge

July 7th - Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes

July 8th - Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing

July 9th - This Is Hiding On Your Body RIGHT NOW.

July 10th - Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce?

July 11th - The Unus Annus Space Program

July 12th - The Egg Smashing Game

July 13th - Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

July 14th - Bleachus Annus

July 15th - Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk

July 16th - Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

July 17th - DIY Teeth

July 18th - How to Escape from a Hostage Situation

July 19th - Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?

July 20th - DIY Bed of Nails : OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY THIS

July 21st - The Human Mop

July 22nd - Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?

July 23rd - This Is The Most Dangerous Children's Toy Ever Made

July 24th - Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?

July 25th - We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could

July 26th - The Beginning of The End
(note- 110 days left. Start of the Desert videos)

July 27th - The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

July 28th - Ultimate Horseshoes

July 29th - A Serious Conversation Under the Stars
(note- Last of the Desert videos)

July 30th - Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

July 31st - 5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard

August 1st - Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet

August 2nd - Playing Cards: The World's Deadliest Weapon

August 3rd - We Lubed Our Floor For a Sliding Competition

August 4th - Breaking Glass With Our Screams

August 5th - This is Goodbye
(note- 100 Days Left)

August 6th - Mark and Ethan Share a Drink

August 7th - The Wubble

August 8th - Mark and Ethan Shave Chica

August 9th - DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

August 10th - Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas

August 11th - Hydro Dipping a Baby

August 12th - Popping Popcorn with a High-Powered Laser

August 13th - Puberty Simulator

August 14th - Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner's Butler for a Day
(note- Ethan "won" but Mark never became his Butler)

August 15th - Transforming Mark into the 8th Wonder of the World

August 16th - Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense

August 17th - Playing Children's Games in Total Darkness

August 18th - We're Better Than Dogs

August 19th - The Koala Challenge: TikTok's Intimate Couple's Trend

August 20th - 1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us

August 21st - Too Many Pickles
(note- The Video before the start of Camp Unus Annus)

August 22nd - Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There's a Bear 15 Feet Away
(note- Start of Camp Unus Annus. Mark was Blind while Ethan was Deaf)

August 23rd - How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree

August 24th - A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night

August 25th - How to Safely Bury Your Friend

August 26th - Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More!

August 27th - How to Start a Fire (except don't...)
(note- The infamous video where Unus appears at the window before Mark kills Ethan)

August 28th - Mark's Outdoor Escape Room

August 29th - Hunting HeeHoo

August 30th - Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus?
(note- End of Camp Unus Annus)

August 31st - Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage

September 1st - We Smell Every Smell

September 2nd - How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?

September 3rd - 2 Boys 2 Poops

September 4th - Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band

September 5th - We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine

September 6th - 2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test

September 7th - Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything but Normal Flavors

September 8th - We Attempts Pottery Without Amy's Help

September 9th - Can Plants Feel Pain?

September 10th - How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock?

September 11th - We Pierced Each Other's Ears

September 12th - We Ate Dog Treats So You Don't Have To

September 13th - We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away

September 14th - BEYBLADE NUTBALL
(note- The Finale of the Nutball Trilogy)

September 15th - Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger

September 16th - Making Soda With Literally Anything But Soda

September 17th - Pee Soda
(note- The Finale of the Pee Trilogy)

September 18th - Learning to Use The Force

September 19th - Brick Soccer

September 20th - We Attempt to Make Holy Water

September 21st - Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box

September 22nd - Mark Knows What Ethan Did...
(note- Ethan cheated on the Grip Test Video)

September 23rd - This Video Will Never Make Sense

September 24th - We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water

September 25h - We Will Churn Thy Butter

September 26th - Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics

September 27th - The Great Ice Cream Cake Race

September 28th - Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle

September 29th - Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible

September 30th - Consuming the World's Hottest Chip

October 1st - This Video Went Completely Out of Control

October 2nd - The 1000 High Five Challenge

October 3rd - Bobbing For Apples But the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer

October 4th - Mark Breaks His Nose On An Aerial Hoop
(note- Was the second time in one week)

October 5th - Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat

October 6th - Shooting Archery ON A HORSE

October 7th - DIY Minesweeper

October 8th - Literally Finding a needle in a Haystack

October 9th - Drawing on Each Other's Backs in Total Darkness

October 10th - This is For FUN and NOT a Fetish
(note- They were in black bags with a vacuum to such out the air)

October 11th - Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming
(note- Birth of the Gongoozler)

October 12th - The Painful Wolrd of Aerial Silks

October 13th - We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay

October 14th - Pumpkin Taste Tier List

October 15th - Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds

October 16th - Bobbing for Literally Anything but Apples

October 17th - This Video is Completely Unedited
(note- This is the video where they shoved Wax up their nose and Marks got stuck)

October 18th - Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

October 19th - Pumpkin Spice "Challenge"
(note- Similar to the Cinnamon Challenge excpet with Pumpkin Spice and don't do this please)

October 20th - Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow

October 21st - Preassure Waching Our Sins Away

October 22nd - We Force Mark to Swin in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)
(note- First of the Two Boat videos)

October 23rd - Fighting Fish to the Deathin in the Deep Blue Sea
(note- Second of the Two Boat Videos

October 24th - Cryptid Olympics

October 25th - Phasmophobia in Real Life
(note- Ghost hunt time)

October 26th - Edward Pumpkin Hands
(note- First Video in big spooky house)

October 27th - Blood Bath

October 28th - The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest
(note- Second Video in big spooky house)

October 29th - Ethan Turns Mark into a Werewolf

October 30th - Ethan Kidnapped Mark
(note- Third Video in big spooky house. Ethan made Mark an escape room)

October 31st - The Truth of Unus Annus
(note- Final Video in the big house. They open the Custom Coffin and change from their clothes into their suits. 13 Days Left)

November 1st - Accepting the Truth
(note- They Accept they are going to die. They remain in their suits from this point onward)

November 2nd - The Unus Annus Last Supper

November 3rd - Being Brutally Honest with Each Other
(note- Mark cries)

November 4th - Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video
(note- 45 minutes and 11 seconds. Longest video)

November 5th - All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened

November 6th - Who's Cutting Onions In Here???

November 7th - The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast

November 8th - God's Fitness Test

November 9th - Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests

November 10th - Everything's Legal If You're Dead
(note- Cooking with Sex Toys 2)

November 11th - 7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell
(note- Ethan got heaven, Mark got hell)

November 12th - The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover
(note- The final video.)

November 13th - Goodbye.
(note- The final livestream.)

Examining the Giants’ 2018 ‘miscalculations’ and their ongoing impact - The Athletic

Giants co-owner John Mara recently conceded what has been painfully obvious for three years.
“We definitely made some miscalculations in a number of areas in 2018,” Mara said after the Giants wrapped up the 2020 season.
Mara pinned Dave Gettleman’s 15-33 record in three seasons as general manager on those 2018 miscalculations. As a result, Mara is sticking with Gettleman for a fourth season due to greatly improved personnel moves last offseason.
Despite Mara’s clean slate, the Giants are still feeling the effects of the 2018 offseason. Every decision in roster building has a lasting impact and it has taken years to dig out from some of the misses Gettleman made in his first year on the job.
The Giants made a number of franchise-altering moves in 2018 and Mara didn’t specify which ones he viewed as miscalculations. So here’s an examination of the big moves from the 2018 offseason, why they didn’t work and how their impact has been felt in subsequent years.
• Sticking with Eli Manning
Quarterback Eli Manning was 37 years old and clearly in decline when Gettleman was hired. Manning had two years remaining on his contract, but the Giants could have cut him to create $9.8 million in cap savings while eating $12.4 million in dead money in 2018.
That was always a long shot and Gettleman made it clear that Manning was part of the plans in his introductory news conference, referencing a big game the quarterback had against the Eagles late in the 2017 season as evidence that the two-time Super Bowl MVP could still get the job done.
Would ownership have hired a general manager who advocated dumping Manning? Probably not. But Mara was adamant that there was no ownership mandate for Gettleman to make decisions geared toward one last run with Manning.
“That’s absolute nonsense,” Mara said last week.
In hindsight, cutting ties with Manning before the 2018 season would have been best for the future but it obviously would have been difficult to dump a franchise icon. But without even adding a successor in 2018, the Giants stuck with Manning again in 2019.
Cutting Manning in the 2019 offseason would have created $17 million in cap savings with just $6.2 million in dead money. The Giants, of course, took Daniel Jones with the sixth pick in the 2019 draft and he took over as the starter in Week 3 of his rookie season. Carrying Manning’s $23.2 million cap hit as a backup quarterback in 2019 was a poor use of resources.
• Signing Nate Solder
Even if there was pressure to build around Manning, Gettleman bears responsibility for the moves made with that objective in mind. Mara isn’t hands-on to the point where he dictates which specific players must be signed.
Signing left tackle Nate Solder to a four-year, $62 million contract with $34.8 million guaranteed was a gross miscalculation.
The Giants had a dire need at left tackle and Solder was the best option on the market. Anyone with a wi-fi connection knew that. But general managers don’t make seven-figure salaries for giving the biggest contracts to the biggest available names.
General managers earn their keep by evaluating all of the options and making decisions that give their team an advantage. Just look at what Solder’s former team did.
The Patriots determined Solder wasn’t worth the contract offered by the Giants despite seven solid seasons in New England. So the Patriots let Solder walk in free agency and traded a third-round pick to the 49ers for Trent Brown and a fifth-round pick. Brown counted just $1.9 million against the cap in 2018 and the Patriots didn’t miss a beat when he was plugged in at left tackle. In the process, the Patriots got a third-round compensatory pick in 2019 for Solder.
The takeaway: There’s always another option, so saying, “What else was Gettleman supposed to do?” isn’t an excuse for the Solder signing. And Gettleman had to have a Plan B at left tackle since the Giants’ top offensive line target in 2018 was guard Andrew Norwell, who signed a five-year, $66.5 million contract with the Jaguars. Once the Giants missed out on Norwell, they went all-in on Solder, which obviously hasn’t worked out.
Solder’s contract leaves the Giants in a tough spot after two disappointing seasons and an opt out for 2020. The Giants compounded the financial consequences by restructuring Solder’s contract before the 2019 season to create cap space. That move created $5 million in cap space in 2019 but added $2.5 million to the cap in the final two years of his deal.
Solder counted $5.6 million against the cap in 2020 during his opt out. He has cap hits of $16.5 million in 2021 and $18 million in 2022. The Giants can cut Solder this offseason to create $6 million in cap savings while eating $10.5 million in dead money.
The bottom line is the Solder contract was a major miscalculation and it continues to be a drain on the Giants’ finances.
• Other free agent signings
Whereas Solder was grossly overpaid, Gettleman’s other notable free agent signings in 2018 were simply poor evaluations.
Signing guard Patrick Omameh to a three-year, $15 million contract seemed reasonable. But the veteran was such a disaster that he was benched after six games and cut in Week 10 of his first season.
Linebacker Kareem Martin, who had familiarity with defensive coordinator James Bettcher from their time together in Arizona, was signed to a three-year, $15 million contract. Martin failed to make an impact in two seasons and was cut last offseason.
Giving running back Jonathan Stewart a two-year, $6.8 million contract wasn’t a big deal in terms of the cap implications. But Gettleman’s obstinate defense that the 31-year-old back hadn’t lost a step chipped away at his credibility when Stewart clearly had nothing left and was cut after one season.
In an ideal world, Omameh and Martin would have been established veteran starters on the 2020 roster. Instead, both were long gone. Misses happen in free agency. But it hurts that Gettleman signed them rather than keeping better players like Devon Kennard and Romeo Okwara, who have been far more productive with other teams since 2018.
• Trading for Ogletree
Like with the Solder signing, the Giants had a need at middle linebacker. So Gettleman took a big swing, sending 2018 fourth and sixth-round picks to the Rams for Alec Ogletree and a 2019 seventh-round pick.
It should have been a red flag that the Rams were looking to deal the 26-year-old Ogletree within a year of giving him a four-year, $42.75 million extension. Ogletree’s five interceptions in 2018 masked otherwise poor play. He struggled again in 2019 and was a cap casualty last offseason.
In all, Ogletree cost the Giants $20 million against the cap for two subpar seasons and a mid-round draft pick. Rebuilding teams shouldn’t give away draft picks and they should be cautious about adding high-priced veterans. The Giants violated both of those tenets with the Ogletree trade.
The Giants got it right at middle linebacker last offseason by signing Blake Martinez to a three-year, $30.75 million contract. If Gettleman had found a similar player in 2018, the Giants would have had better linebacker play in 2018 and 2019 plus an additional mid-round draft pick to develop.
• Trading JPP
The lone move Gettleman made during the 2018 offseason with the future in mind was trading defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul to the Buccaneers for a third-round pick. The trade came a year after former GM Jerry Reese gave Pierre-Paul a four-year, $62 million contract.
The trade left $15 million in dead money on the 2018 cap, but cleared a combined $37 million in cap charges off the books in 2019 and 2020. The Giants used the third-round pick on B.J. Hill, who had 5.5 sacks as a rookie and remains a solid rotational defensive tackle.
This trade looks worse in hindsight since Pierre-Paul has 30.5 sacks in the three seasons since the trade, which is tied for eighth-most in the NFL during that stretch. But dumping an aging player with a big contract for a draft pick wouldn’t have been a bad move if the Giants were rebuilding. The bigger problem is Gettleman’s inability to find a comparable replacement over the past three years.
• Picking Saquon
Using the No. 2 pick in the 2018 draft on running back Saquon Barkley is the decision that had the greatest impact on the franchise. The second pick is an incredibly valuable commodity that can make a seismic impact on a franchise, like when the Giants took Lawrence Taylor at No. 2 in 1981.
As Gettleman said, everyone saw him “drool all over myself” when evaluating Barkley in the pre-draft process. Barkley is supremely talented, but one of the main arguments against using a premium resource on a running back has been realized, since injuries have limited Barkley to just 31 of 48 career games.
The obvious alternative was taking a quarterback. It’s impossible to know how that would have turned out. No. 3 pick Sam Darnold has been a disappointment for the Jets, who may move on this offseason. No. 7 pick Josh Allen was a second-team All-Pro this season after a breakout Year 3 for the Bills. No. 10 pick Josh Rosen has been a complete flop and is already on his fourth team. So clearly there were a wide range of outcomes if the Giants took a quarterback instead of Barkley.
If the Giants took Allen and built a strong supporting cast around him like Buffalo has, maybe they’d be playing in the divisional round this weekend. And if they took Rosen, they’d probably already be back in the market for another quarterback.
The other option was trading back. We’ll never know if Gettleman could have received the package the Jets sent the Colts for the No. 3 pick (the No. 6 pick, two second-round picks in 2018, one second-round pick in 2019). Maybe if Gettleman had a better poker face about his commitment to Manning and infatuation with Barkley, the Jets would have been compelled to trade up to No. 2 to avoid having the Giants beat them to Darnold. But Gettleman admitted to never seriously considering offers for the pick because he was so dead set on taking Barkley.
The Colts took a three-time first-team All-Pro guard (No. 6 pick Quenton Nelson) and an excellent right tackle (No. 37 pick Braden Smith) with the first two picks from the Jets. They then traded the other second-round pick (No. 49) to the Eagles for the 52nd pick (edge rusher Kemoko Turay) and the 169th pick (running back Jordan Wilkins). They then used the 2019 second-round pick from the Jets (No. 34 overall) on cornerback Rock Ya-Sin. Turning the No. 3 pick into two stud offensive linemen, a starting cornerback, a rotational pass rusher and a backup running back is a master class in maximizing value.
Gettleman and Mara don’t view the Barkley pick as a mistake.
“I’m still happy that we have him,” Mara said last week. “I certainly expect him to be a Giant for a very long time.”
Again, we’ll never know if Gettleman could have secured the same offer or something similar to what the Colts landed for the third pick. But it’s tough to stomach how the team directly behind the Giants in the 2018 draft got so much more out of their premium pick.
• Extending Odell
Giving wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. a five-year, $90 million extension during training camp was the last big move of the 2018 offseason. There were rumors that the Giants could trade Beckham during the 2018 offseason, but they didn’t have much of a choice regarding an extension once they kept him.
Beckham had been a good soldier throughout the 2018 offseason so they rewarded him with the monster contract. Playing hardball with the team’s best player would have made for a rough start to first-year head coach Pat Shurmur’s tenure.
The Giants clearly had regrets, as they dealt Beckham to the Browns for safety Jabrill Peppers, a first-round pick and third-round pick after the season. Ultimately, the failed marriage resulted in the Giants paying Beckham $20 million for 12 games in the 2018 season. Even if the trade is viewed as a positive for the Giants now, the financial impact of the extension was significant.
Gettleman has acknowledged multiple times that his plan to win while rebuilding was flawed.
“As I’ve already admitted, ‘18 was not a stellar year, personnel-wise,” Gettleman said last week. “We’ve learned from our mistakes.”
If only it were that easy. There are consequences for such mistakes. The Giants just went 6-10 this season and have numerous holes to fill, yet they’re only projected to have the 19th-most cap space this offseason despite the benefit of having a quarterback on his rookie contract. Decisions like keeping Manning through the end of his contract and giving Solder a megadeal have financial implications that can’t be swept under the rug.
Mara and Gettleman both view the 2019 offseason as a step in the right direction. That’s debatable. The Giants certainly feel good about the Beckham trade despite the offense’s glaring lack of a No. 1 receiver. The lone big-ticket free-agent addition of the 2019 offseason — four years, $37.5 million for 30-year-old wide receiver Golden Tate — went about as poorly as the Solder signing. The evaluation of the 2019 offseason hinges on quarterback Daniel Jones, and the jury is still out on the sixth pick in last year’s draft.
“Our processes are better,” Gettleman said. “I think this past year showed the fruits of that, both in free agency and in the draft. I really believe strongly we’ll continue in that way.”
No one can dispute that Gettleman nailed free agency last offseason, while it’s too early to judge the draft. The Giants need a similar offseason this year as they continue to dig out of the hole created by the miscalculations of 2018.

After 2 years, I've finally launched Deadly Desserts! You guys have been an awesome help and I'd love to give back to this community. I tested with over 150 people before launching. Here is a post detailing my process prototyping, testing, and iterating the game.

JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #4 - Round 3 Match 4 - Cabernet Sauvignon and Inch Nine vs Byte and Fira B

The results are in for Match 2.
Jade had been building, and building, managing to shrug past the bullets sent their way and just eating the chips in their quite literal armor, able to easily replenish it with yet more mud. The mud had stopped Dread from chasing them, and she had gone off and burned the place to scare the people off. Whatever. It complemented what it was they had desired…
All it would take now was this finishing touch, this last gesture of nonaggression towards Sentient Oona, who they were certain simply wished not to be bothered, did not care for any of this commodification of its very existence.
It was crass. It was sickening. It drove Jade, who just wished to live their own life, mad to think about, and now, nobody would follow, soon as they were a short swim through the basin away. The shrine itself would be a sinking island of concrete silk soon. All that would be left then was to use the cover of the dirtying water to avoid the bullets of the fan club, the last guard unit perched within the shrine.
Yet bullets never came, and above them, Jade felt instead a terrible heat, noted the appearance of spiked rubber on their mud-caked back. Something with an exoskeleton like an insect’s stood above them, they careened their head to see who was above them. It was Dread, barely swerving her body past dragonflies which had caught on to her malicious intent and meant to fry her.
“You again… I said fall down… Off.” They spoke with guttural contempt. “How did… You even…”
“You ruined my new boots, Antlerhead, but I am afraid that as much as the ground by which we did our battle had been soiled… You miscalculated in, I think, a fateful way, to utilize that ghastly terminology.” Briefly, indicatively, she looked to her side, and Jade understood as their opponent continued. “You didn’t destroy the bridge first. All I needed to do was walk across, watch your movements… And hop on.”
“You... still talk… too much.” Jade grunted, then, and spat at her, putting on their strongest face.
Then they saw so many dragonflies, flying towards both of them as fell bladed arms raised and descended.
The winner is Dread, with a score of 73 to Jade’s 71!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Tie	15-15	The first two matches in a row, up to the final moments, saw decent turnout while resulting in a tie by deadline.
Quality	Red Carpet Renaissance	24-21	Reasoning
JoJolity	Black Hill Estate	24-25	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

After a few futile moments trying to commune with the alien, Dread stepped over that bridge once more, back onto land and stood over the lake where they had left Jade. After that final confrontation, the dragonflies had all dissipated, Sentient Oona either sated or exhausted after that final exchange of blows, and for a few days, slumbering.
Both of the fighters had been covered in blood, covered in gore, covered in wounds. The fire raged on even as the trapped god’s rage quelled, heat counteracted by the cool of the muddy, bloody lake, which Dread, feeling theatrical, turned herself away from.
“How quaint! A beast such as yourself thinking you had a chance beating a woman of my stature. Cute, really. Your malodorous challenge was something indeed, and I will admit that you… That you…”
Dread’s lip began to quiver. Her trip was RUINED!
She didn’t even get a single souvenir! Her train of thought lost, tears well in her eyes. Joywave fell, and she turned away from Jade, beginning to sob. She needed to go hug someone.
To this end, then, she ran and ran, tromping across the edge of the marsh towards the direction of the evacuating town she’d last seen her friend head, who surely would be not judgmental over such a platonic request as consolation. Mr. Jones was surely-
Ah. He’d already left, huh?
All he had left behind, then, was the Green Flying Man, clutching a massive gash in his flickering, transformed torso, hand feebly fumbling with a rotary phone in one of the few buildings not on fire yet.
“H… H-hello? Matilda? It’s… Nngh, it’s an emergency situation! The… The Estate is empty, and the closest member’s here with me in Sentient Oona and I’ll try and get back with them, but a guy cut his own leg off and died and everything’s on fire and Memory… He grabbed Memory Management, and said he knew how to kill her, that he would if she doesn’t-”
Click!
A fell claw hung the phone up, then severed the line, and Green collapsed, having been tripped and sent to the floor.
“Y-you! But if you’re here, th-that means-” Green whined. “No… No, no, no…”
“Do not irritate me with your whining!” The crying Dread, using Joywave, brought her hand down, then the other, then raised them, then brought each down again, and repeated this, and repeated this. “I! Am in! A very bad mood!”
The Green Flying Man was not long for the world anyway thanks to the distinctive sabre wound which had gouged him (a normal man would have been dead already), despite what he had said to assure whoever he was on the phone with, already fading from being, but he practically disintegrated seconds into Dread’s onslaught, and she hardly registered this until she stood, breathing heavily in the aftermath of her tantrum.
If… If what he said was true, then the reason Mr. Jones has left me here, messy and with no souvenirs to my name… Still sniffling pathetically, Dread quivered, trying to stiffen her posture. Then he, at least, had his success…
There’s only a few hours left, as of posting this match, to vote in its predecessor, a duel between a cactus-mancer and a clone-summoner in a clock tower.
Scenario:
Elephant Bones 2 - Afternoon
The empty former diner and tax shelter, adjacent to the legitimate restaurant to which it was a sequel, had constantly had people watching after it since the incident before, when ANVIL militia members had occupied it with the intention of using it to raid and capture the restaurant proper. For Fira B, the place made for a fine space to do paperwork and generally not be easily found when she wasn’t outright needed, also serving double duty in how it kept hooligans from their hooliganry.
“I raise you better dental. It’s a top-secret dental plan - people like us normally don’t get to know about it. But... you gotta risk 8% of the raise you earned so far.”
Byte, sitting at the table opposite her, pondered it over, not typically the type to end up in poker games, but having wanted a raise and found himself very easily swayed by Fira, basically, implying he was afraid to handle it this way, worried he would lose. Sure, Fira was probably blatantly cheating, but hey, so was he, and as it was, his pay was about to go up 10%.
Thanks to his Stand, he already had everything he needed to make a perfect game… All saved in spades, card-counted to hell for the perfect moment, and this forbidden dental plan for teeth beyond compare had been his ultimate goal this entire time.
“Alright, I’ll call.” The final hands were dealt and played to, then, tensely, before he declared, putting it all down on the table, “royal flush, all spades! Those secret teeth are as good as-”
Fira, grinning, displayed her own hand, then, having prepared her own forbidden technique for this exact eventuality, this moment. Not one, two, three, or four Aces in her hand, nor even something so hackneyed as an errant fifth Ace. She had gone beyond Poker, and displayed a devastating, never-before-seen six Aces technique, all in different suits. Everyone in real Poker knew that that was even better.
“No way… Dammit, that’s cheating! No way you seriously got-”
“So were you. Don’t forget this loss, Byte. Work hard, and maybe one day you’ll be able to get any teeth you want. Even mine, if you’re ruthless enough.”
He was about to raise an objection, then, when another figure walked through the faux-restaurant doors, carrying with them a face-obscuring massive gift basket full of assorted soaps and candies that look like soaps. More troublingly, as both parties present immediately narrowed their eyes at, though, was the uniform the figure was wearing.
They were clad in body armor, aqua and blue with white accents, the unmistakable colors of VALKYRIE and its members, complete with the sidearm all were known for carrying idly resting at their side.
“What do you want.” Fira asked sternly, about to stand up.
“Oh, the boss asked me to drop these off to sweeten the deal!”
“Deal?” Her voice lowered, and she stood tall, Byte almost wanting to grin at the sight of what was to come. “I don’t know anything about a ‘deal’.”
“Oh, right, uh, probably should’ve led with that!” Awkwardly, the recruit, young-looking, Byte surmised, put the gift basket down on the table. “See, uh, he wants you to swing by the address on the card later, says he’s sure you could help with-”
Effie Linder was sitting outside, fiddling frustratedly with the wi-fi as she tried to remember exactly what the new password was, only to see the man who’d walked in in a VALKYRIE uniform literally thrown out, crying out and hitting the pavement like a ragdoll. It made her smirk, despite herself and her contempt for the boss.
Fira brushed her hands off, seething and staring before letting the doors shut. Byte, meanwhile, looked over the gift basket, smelling one of the soaps, and one of the candies, within.
“Not bad, actually… Whoever picked this out has some taste. Always bugged me how soap doesn’t taste like it smells…”
“Eugh, I swear… VALKYRIE is acting chummy with us now... It’s one thing for their enemies to fight us because of some bad timing, but we are not people VALKYRIE sends gift baskets to!”
“Never even heard of Ugo McBaise sending gift baskets to anyone…” Byte quipped, curious.
“Exactly. It’s a passive-aggressive thing, clearly. They’re trying to tell us to play nice.” Fira cracked her knuckles, turning to him then. “You can admire soaps later. What’s the address on that card? Let’s go there and beat the hell out of Ugo. Send a message that we’re not friends, and his bones should be broken right now.”
“Hey, alright, I’m down,” Byte said, finding some amusement in the situation as he stood, slowly, opening up the card. “Besides… I know, different branches and all, but you know what happened to Zebra… All because he was backing Peres up in her fight against this company. Like, dammit, I was on that trip, too… Like half of us were, and people risked their lives and died trying to get that Ocean Soul caught alive in the first place, and then some guys from this company show up and then it’s all for nothing. Maybe I’ll feel better calling this a sort of revenge.”
The Black Hill Estate - Afternoon
Inch Nine paced around her room rubbing her temples. Ever since the fight she’d had with Byron Oxbow, everything in her life had gotten more complicated. She’d brought it up with Klein once, and the conflicted expression in his face had stuck with her. Pretty much any friends she had made with connections to the Industrial District reacted that way, to various extents. Inch was a cool headed person, but even though she struggled to show it, it affected her.
Thoughts rushed through her head on who was at fault for this… Cairo, Fira, Byron, that commander of his. Even with all of that a thought kept flowing through her head. Maybe herself, even. If she had only been able to talk Byron down, been more forthright about where she stood, it might have been avoided. She could have worked something out and her relationships would all be fine and so much hurt could have been avoided.
No. No, that was stupid, too.
It was that bastard, Ugo McBaise, and that horrible company he ran. He couldn’t help but keep pushing and pushing forward, turning a security company into a household bogeyman. Of course everyone would have been less on edge, never would have been at war in the first place, had it not been for that lot.
Yes, saying that, Inch felt at peace again, if only for a moment.
As that thought finished a small knock came at the door. Soon enough, she heard a voice she recognized well - that of her teammate, Cabernet Sauvignon, who came through the other side of the door. “Hey, we just got a letter and a gift basket from these VALKYRIE guys… Actually quite a nice fellow at the door, said it was specifically for us.”
“Hm.” Inch tilted her head. It had an… Assorted smell to it, and everything did look quite delicious. To test the mettle of this goodwill, she thought to grab something, take a bite…
She was glad that nobody could see the lower half of her face, the expression on it, at the random item within that she had taken, the soapy taste overwhelming her senses now. With a continued coolheadedness as Cab sat there surely unawares, she asked, “did he say what occasion this was for? I am to understand that this is not a company known for actions such as this, even if many of us have helped ODIN.”
“Said he had somewhere to be, then ran off before I could possibly entertain him,” Cab answered, “though I suspect perhaps that he was intimidated by my attempts to strike up a conversation about the exotic cheeses and scented candles which would best pair with the provided basket…” His face darkened a moment, then, as he added in a suspicious, perhaps self-importantly quiet tone, “and aside from that, probably whatever this is is suspicious as hell.”
“We are in agreement, then. No matter how polite they act towards us,” Inch said, her eyes narrowing at the deceptively tasty looking contents of the basket, towards the letter within, apparently from the head of the company urging them to come, “we can not abide by working with a man like that, or even being seen as his allies.”
“You know, I don’t know much about this Mcbaise guy, except by the reputation you all gave him, and this may be an old hobby of mine talking, but…” Cab gestured for the card, then, to glance, for himself, over the address. “If they’re going to roll out the red carpet for us, what do you say we head over there just to knock some heads?”
“I could not have thought of a better message myself. Perhaps you are not all culinary knowledge and trivia, Cabernet.”
Business District, Noon
As one would naturally do when receiving a “suspicious as hell” gift basket, Inch and Cab soon decided to investigate further, going to the address mentioned in the card the next day, driving Cab’s truck over there.
That was a mistake; the two of them must have spent almost an hour trying to find any available parking spot afterwards. The odds were stacked against them, but they eventually managed to find an overpriced spot fifteen minutes from their destination that they could stay in for a while, and went on their way.
Inch and Cab made their way through the hustle and bustle of the district, but after a couple minutes of walking, Inch spotted something out of the corner of her eye that gave her pause - a teal-haired woman walking angrily through the street, whom she’d fought for her life alongside not long ago. Fira.
Inch casually walked over, Cab following along behind her, and made her way to Fira, waving. “Hello there, Fira!” She said, actually sort of pleased to see her.
She didn’t expect to see a friendly-ish face here, so it was a welcome sight. Per usual Fira’s expression right now wasn’t one many people would call “friendly,” which is to say that she seemed even more pissed off than she usually did.
“Oh, Inch. You’re here. Hello.” Verbose as ever, Fira B.
“I am. What brings you here, Fira? You live and work quite far west of here, non?”
Before Fira said anything, Byte stepped in, taking over from there. “Those VALKYRIE assholes sent us some kind of gift package filled with soap and candy... wanted to win us over, I guess, make us do something for them, so we’re heading over to tell them to fuck off and beat that Ugo asshole up.”
“Oh! We received a similar package too... I had just thought of what candles I might buy while out here to combine with it all, offer the perfect ambiance for some aged Caciocavallo Podolico, but we agree - something’s suspicious about this…” Cab said, Inch nodding along.
Inch spoke up again then. “If all of us are heading towards the same place… I suppose it is best for us to all go together, non?”
“Guess so.” Fira, though not exactly overjoyed at the idea, seemed receptive enough to it, and neither Byte nor Cab objected either, so the four stand users went on their way. Each, though imagining different melodies, were totally all picturing the scene as being paired with some kickass background music or another.
Making their way towards the address, they noticed that there seemed to be less and less of the tall skyscrapers common to the district surrounding them, and more and more buildings directly associated with VALKYRIE - that made sense, given that this was their part of the district.
As they went along, Byte kept looking around, even more so than the rest of them, always looking and commenting on whatever came to mind for him - “hey, that building seems like a pain in the ass to work in,” “oh, that dude actually looks kind of strong, I bet he could take those other guys over there. Not me though, obviously,” and other inane comments. Soon enough, everyone else simply started tuning it out, paying them no real heed and going on along their way.
Eventually, they reached the address - a building, larger than most others in the area, marking the entrance to a VALKYRIE training ground. Getting near the building, Byte noticed something - a man in a VALKYRIE outfit, walking towards them. He seemed quite well built, enough so that Byte figured he might even have to use BRB to beat him were things to come to that. “Hey, that VALKYRIE guy over there seems like he wants something with us, no?”
No response. The man got closer.
Byte wondered to himself how he could get the attention of Fira or the other two without pissing them off. Eventually, he decided to give Cab a light slap on the shoulder to grab his attention - he didn’t seem particularly threatening, especially when compared to Fira or Inch.
Cab, who seemed to be lost in thought looking at the building, turned to Byte with a sour expression. “What do you want, and why would it necessitate hitting me?!”. He seemed angry, but Byte simply shrugged in response. “Well, you weren’t responding to what I said, and-”
“Uh… excuse me? You’re the ones we called over, right? Inch Nine, Cabernet Sauvignon, Fira B, and-”
“What do you want from us.” Before the man, who seemed to be surprisingly docile considering his build and appearance, could finish, Fira interrupted him, and he found himself angrily stared down by all four of the stand users. The man stammered for a bit, unsure of how to respond or what to say...
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey… let’s all calm down, yeah?” The intense staredown was interrupted when a voice came from afar, one that was familiar to Fira.
“Hey, wait a sec…” She cocked an eyebrow in disbelief, grunting and adding as she turned, “no way… Is it seriously-”
A man clad in a dark suit colored like VALKYRIE’s armor, adorned with cute shapes had emerged now, clad professionally head-to-toe, dress shoes to black sunglasses, and lord, that hair.
Such long hair, vertical and striped.
Rushen Smith stood before the lot of them, strutting around like he’d owned the place or something. She’d beaten him once, but hadn’t been expecting to cross paths with him again.
“What do you want.”
“No need to be so hostile, yeah? We’re not calling you here to start trouble or nothing, so-”
“We’re?” Fira interrupted him. “You’re with VALKYRIE?” Well, if he was with VALKYRIE, at least Fira knew very well that she could still beat the shit out of him, given that she already had a good track record against him. Then, she’d move on to Ugo.
“So you’re like a… Miniboss, now.” Byte interjected, disappointed, yet ready to fight nonetheless.
“If I may finish.” Rushen sounded impatient
“To make a long story short… Ugo’s out. CEO fired him for everything he’s done. You’re not talkin’ to some crony to an NFL reject. You’re looking at the new head of VALKYRIE. For security and PR reasons, Allday has been been keepin’ quiet about it for now, preparing for just the right moment to tell the public, make sure I get revealed to the public with a good positive splash, but it is what it is. So… ready to talk now? Because I’m thinkin’ we can use your help, and we can definitely make it worth your while.”
Deeper within the premises - An Open-air training facility
Everyone had been disarmed by their confusion, and by Rushen’s goodwill, and by the thought that, just like that, one of the most threatening people in the city could just be fired like it was nothing, which made for Rushen a convenient situation. They were in line, following his lead, and as he did so, he brought them to a state-of-the-art training facility, one wherein dozens upon dozens of security officers in armor were walking around, shooting the shit, running, chatting by vending machines stocked with overpriced health food and sports drinks, and almost always giving Rushen a respectful nod and salute as he passed by, always meeting it with a cool, “at ease.”
“I still do not understand why we are here…” Inch, after some time being led around, spoke up. “I assume you sent those gift baskets to us, but even then, beyond wishing us here quickly, you did not say what you expect of us. Or even sign your name, beyond ‘the boss of VALKYRIE.’”
“Yes, like I said, my step into the private sector ain’t public knowledge yet… Trying to keep a lot under lock, ‘cuz I’ve inherited a backlog of things to take care of. Need-to-know basis… You know how it is.”
Fira nodded, saying bluntly, “so you’re planning something big. Want us to have a part. What? And why? Better not be wasting our time…”
“All Ugo ever taught people far as tactics went was a bullheaded, aggressive push forward… Rush, and rush, and rush, and just overwhelm opponents before they can think their way out.” Rushen explained. “It hasn’t been working, it got a lotta people on all sides or no sides hurt and killed who didn’t need to be, and while he used to have a man for handling stuff that took a brain, long story short… He’s no longer with us either. We’re trying to work on a way to save the people of this city from what’s up ahead, and no point in doing that if there’s no one to save, yeah? VALKYRIE needs to be better… We need to reorient, pick and choose better battles, get better at fighting them. No more bullcrap about raiding bars or stealing cows, yeah?”
“So you want us to… Help you retrain this security company?” Byte asked. “Why us?”
“The four of you felt right for it,” Rushen answered, looking each of them over in turn, “Byte, I know the part you played in that shipyard incident, and while I still ain’t pleased at what you were working for then, and it really messed Jesse up in a bad way, that’s all over now. The Ocean Soul business is done and in the past, and you’re real good at what you do.”
He was quiet, then.
“Fira,” he continued, “you’re another career criminal in this city, and you and I both know it, but we need someone who can think like that, someone with fight in her, for what I’m trying to get these guys ready for. Now ain’t the time to get picky… Long as you keep minding your business.”
“I try. Some people make it so hard.” Fira snorted, folding her arms.
“Inch, you used to be seen with Cairo a whole bunch, until right around when a certain incident happened… You know what I mean, don’t you?” She and Fira sneered, and Rushen raised a hand. “I’m not here to criticize, mind. I like your style, and that cool gator power thing you got going for you, hear you’ve got some real good learning techniques, and most important of all, I hear the two of you managed to survive bein’ in the dead center of Byron Oxbow at his angriest in thirty years.”
“You are… Praising me. It is appreciated, thank you.”
“And Cab,” Rushen continued, “you are the whitest man I have ever met, and I’ve got family in the same neck of New York as Douglas Jones. But hey, you’re a friend of Jesse’s, and these guys around here, they remember you at the battle on Capital Island, hurt and just popped outta this magic bottle, and still fighting with ‘em and helping people escape. You’re good people, and you got a particular edge to you I need too.”
“I saw I think a better side of VALKYRIE than most, by good circumstance,” Cab started, flattered by the mixed praise, ultimately happy to recognize it as stroking his ego, and a part of him warmed up for what was being praised turning out to be something besides the hobbies with which he’d filled the void. “Though I was just as willing to knock these guys’ heads in as everyone else here, you know… I certainly don’t mind this turnaround, though. And I think I’m starting to guess who it is you want to fight here, why you want a group like this in on it… Might you be planning to stake out the-”
“Not a word. Can’t let this get leaked.”
“Of course, of course,” Cab answered, quite confident in his mental answer nonetheless. “You mentioned this being worth our while… Can I ask what you mean by that?”
“The CEO’s gonna be watching this training sesh too, if you didn’t already guess… We’ll make sure all four of you are rewarded handsomely for this, of course, but if you really go above-and-beyond, she’s said she’ll throw even more bonus on top of all the dough. I recommend you shoot for that.”
“So we need to help train your guys better than these two, huh?” Fira answered, jerking her thumb at Inch and Cab.
“I mean, it probably is better for you to work with the person ya know primarily, but it’s not really a comp-”
“We are gonna blow whatever you guys are doing out of the water,” Byte interrupted, looking towards the Estate residents with a fiery look in his own eye. “We’ll show you the kind of training you can normally only see for a total premium at Dukes!”
“Yes, let’s one-up each other,” Cab agreed with an amused smirk, well aware that this competitive streak was unnecessary, but beginning to feel a certain fire in him, “what do you say, Inch? You up for the task of whipping these guys into crimebusting shape?”
“I suppose I am.” Inch herself was beginning to feel the air of competition, feel her blood pumping, “no hard feelings to either of you, if you are not selected for this… But we are simply going to do a phenomenal job.”
Rushen sighed, shaking his head. “Least you ain’t trying to kill each other… Alright! I’ll roll with it.” He clapped his hands, perking up quite a bit. “Both of y’all are in charge of sixteen recruits who need retraining fast, and we’re gonna compare what you did at the end. Just don’t kill ‘em or nothing, or do nothing stupid, and for four hours, soon as you got a plan together, what you say goes. Got it? Good.”
Man, now I’m feelin’ the competitive spirit a bit… Really is contagious, huh? Probably gonna make ‘em do a better job… Ah, hell, now I’m feelin’ a certain urge. I’m gonna say it. I’m gonna!
“Open the game.”
(credit to magistelles for the awesome art!)
Location: A VALKYRIE training facility in the middle of the business district.
The area consists of track fields, indoor gymnasiums, shooting ranges, training equipment storage, training towers and practical training buildings as well as other training sites. There is also general equipment storage and a small infirmary on site.
Essentially any sort of equipment or facilities you’d expect to find in a military style boot camp can be found here. Things like body armor and helmets, large tires, guns (both handguns and rifles), training dummies, etc. If you aren’t sure if something can be found here, just ask the judges.
There is also a large amount of spare wood used for building obstacle courses.
Goal: Train your group of recruits better than your opponents in a 4 hour training session!
Additional Information:
You can assume there is minimal downtime from getting area to area within the full facility.
Each team has a group of 16 VALKYRIE recruits to be trained. Each of them has 333 physicals and a 2 in gun handling and a 2 in hand to hand combat. While your session is a full 4 hours, you may still need to consider the stamina of the recruits and schedule breaks for them accordingly. They are in full uniform, with helmets, combat boots, and body armor as well as a pistol and baton each. They also have equipment that lets them see stands. They each have spare uniforms and can be refitted with training equipment from the equipment storage as needed. They also have assault rifles and walkie talkies in the equipment storage.
For the purposes of training they will generally agree to whatever you put them through short of anything that has significant risk of resulting in actual harm.
Teams are allowed to use/take anything from the facilities for the purposes of training.
In terms of Voting and Quality we are looking for a few different things:

Having effective training: This can mostly be boiled down to how well their training either strengthenings their bodies or helps them learn muscle memories or techniques that improve fighting.
Using your time effectively: Similar to having effective training, minimizing wasted time that could have been otherwise useful is also important.
Having your recruits last for as much of the training as possible: Having guys needing to be sent to the infirmary for injuries or overworking them before the 4 hours is up will affect your score negatively. While accidents can happen through say sparring or other mishaps, you should try to minimize any lasting damages to the recruits.
Having varied and well rounded training: Having them build skills in multiple areas, full body exercise over focusing on one or two muscle groups, and preparing them for a variety of scenarios.
Discipline: While your recruits will be following your orders for training, being able to command their attention and respect can go a long way on making an impression and bolster training effectiveness. On the flip side, doing things that make the recruits not take you or training seriously can defeat the purpose of training.

In terms of training, you can also consider anything security personnel should be trained in, not just strictly combat. That can include rescuing, defending people, perceptiveness, team coordination, etc.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
The Graveyard Shift	Fira B.	“This pain-in-the-ass pillar is a reflection on that woman's personality...” You know, if you are going to be training these people, might as well make this fun for yourself. Personalize your training regiment as much as you can to make it unique with your abilities!
The Graveyard Shift	Byte	“Climb to the top of the pillar with just your hands. That's the only exit. If you can't climb out, you'll stay there until you die.” Anybody could just sit back and train people, that’s why you can’t bring yourself to do that. Be active and hands-on in your training!
Black Hill Estate	Inch Nine	“Climbing with something other than the ripple is not appreciated by the pillar... This "Hell Climb Pillar" only likes the ripple and knocks down everything else... Don't forget that.” No point in relaxing while they do all the training, might as well brush up on your own skills. Be active and hands-on in your training!
Black Hill Estate	Cabernet “Cab” Sauvignon	“It's the fault of the person who built that trap... whoever built this was really fucked up! Making me fall for that” While you could have them do just normal training, that is defeating both the point of the exercise and would be a complete waste of everybody’s time. Personalize your training regiment as much as you can to make it unique with your abilities!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

Subverted Expectations, Part 14 (By jimmyhopkinsbroh)

Two days had passed since you had taken in Lucas. You’re taking him to the vet today, then you’re going to the park with your fluffies. Everything was good with him, got his shots, then took him to Old City Pizza as a reward. The other fluffies were being watched by your neighbor, Max. Curly hair, relaxed eyes, kind of guy who’s nearly constantly high but still manages to have a steady job. Cool guy, real chill, loves fluffies but doesn’t have any of his own.
“Hey, Jack! Whoa! What are you wearing?” Sal is looking you over, obviously surprised by your outfit. You had decided to make the boy shorts and thighhighs apart of one of your outfits. Look, it’s comfy, and Philly has become one of the more progressive cities and you can finally express yourself now. Not like growing up in a tiny town where saying you were gay was like saying you were the devil incarnate.
“It’s comfy, alright?” Sal laughs. “Hey, don’t worry man, I heard that ‘femboys’ are popular with the internet today. Besides, it suits you. Certainly got the figure for it at least amirite?” You just sort of stare at him, one eyebrow raised. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be with you in a sec to take your order.”
“Daddeh, Wucas smeww pwetty nummies!” You laugh, putting him in one of the fluffy seats. “Yeah, this place always smells good.” Sal runs up to the table. “Alright, what can I get ya?” You look over the menu, thinking about what Lucas would like the most. “The regular for me, a small plate of spaghetti, and a plate of chicken tenders.”
“Comin’ right up! Also, I was distracted earlier by, uh, things, but I noticed that you have a new fluffy. What happened to the other three?” You scratch Lucas behind the ears. “The other three are at home with Max, Lucas here just had his check up.” Sal knew Max, and immediately started laughing.
“You sure you want your fluffies hanging out with a stoner? They might be listening to Pink Floyd when you get back!” He wipes a tear from his eye, clearly imagining the scenario in his head. “Oh, they already listen to Pink Floyd. But I made sure to let Max know that ‘toking’ is not allowed in the apartment. As much as I know he would love to smoke weed with a fluffy.” Sal lets out another hearty chuckle. “I’ll be back with your order.”
Sal arrived with the food, and you and Lucas proceeded to eat. “Before you try the spaghetti, want to try some chicken tenders with barbecue sauce?” Lucas looks up at you, confused by the statement. “Tendew? Wha’ dat?”
You grab a chicken tender, and tear it into a few strips. “That, my little friend, is the sign of a good chicken tender.” You dip one of the strips into some barbecue sauce. You hold it in front of him, and he sniffs at it. He gives it a little lick, and his eyes light up.
“Yummy!” He says, taking the strip from you and chowing down. “Dis bettah den sketties!” Hearing that actually makes you really happy, considering how much you like chicken tenders.
“Can Wucas hab mowe tendews?” You laugh, and dip some more into the barbecue sauce. “Sure thing little buddy!” He happily eats, until the entire tender you broke up is gone. “Wucas fuww, daddeh.”
“Yeah, me too. Lets bring these back home, I’m sure your siblings will be grateful for the spaghetti.” You pay the bill, get some boxes, and walk home with Lucas in tow. “Come back anytime, Jack!” Sal calls out the door.
On your way home, you and Lucas see one of the fluffies of the city, carrying a letter tied to its side. Not really even a feral, since you think that someone trains them to do this. You just know that none of them have asked for a home, and in your experience, have never had kids with them. “Hewwo fwuffy fwiend! Am Wucas!” The fluffy looks up at Lucas and smiles. Thank goodness his wings were obscured, it would have been a disaster if this little courier had gotten frightened and lost his letter. “Hewwo babbeh! Am maiwfwuffy!” The little courier continues on his way. Hope he wasn’t carrying any poker chips.
“Daddeh, wha maiwfwuffy?”
“Well, you know what a mailman is, right?” Dum dum, why would he know what a mailman is, you have a PO box. “Maiwman, wike Nooman?” Damn, he paid attention to Seinfeld last night. “Yeah, like Newman. Only a fluffy, and not Wayne Knight.” He smiles. “Wub Seinfewd.”
You arrive back at the apartment, and see Max sitting in the safe room, playing with the toys while the fluffies watch TV. “Dude, what are you doing?” He looks up from building a Duplo castle, trips over a wooden train, manages to not fall on his ass, and chuckles.
“Look, I tried playing with them, but they wanted to watch King of the Hill. Then I kinda got into building this sick ass castle, and then the railway, and long story short, you need more track cause I wanted to expand into the rest of the apartment.” You put your hand to your face and rub your eyes. “Nice outfit by the way.”
“Alright Lucas, go say hi to uncle Max, I’m gonna pack a basket to take with us, then we can all go to the park.” Lucas walks over to Max and goes into that pose they do when they want you to pick them up. Max picks him up and starts scratching behind his ears, and then he looks at you. “Can I come?”
You all headed to the park, Max coming along as well. Max is carrying Magnum and Nebula, and you’re carrying Lucas and Johnny, along with a picnic basket with the leftovers you just got, some juice, and a blanket. “I still don’t get why you don’t let me smoke with them.” He says, jokingly. “Magnum would love it.” Magnum looks up at him. “Wha?”
“D-don’t worry about it, Max is just being weird. This looks like a good spot to sit, big tree nearby, stream over there, not too far from the sidewalk, seems good to me.” You place Lucas and Johnny down on the grass, set the basket down, and lay out the big picnic blanket.
You all spend some time playing, doing a little bit of exploring, and eating the food you brought. Magnum and Johnny are playing with a ball you took along with you, Lucas is sitting by Max in the sun, and Nebula was playing near some flowers nearby the trees. You and Lucas didn’t eat as much, but the other fluffies (and Max) made up for it. You certainly had enough juice to drink though.
“Hey, Max, I’m gonna go find the bathroom in this park, probably gonna call the vet and schedule an appointment for their fixing, can you watch the fluffies while I’m gone?”
Max gives you a thumbs up. “Sure thing, dude.” With that, you embark on your crusade to find the bathroom. Hope It won’t take too long.
SUPER COOL PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: (Nebula Perspective.)
You are Nebula, and you have the bestest family ever. You and your brothers were rescued by your daddy when you were all babies, and even though Johnny and Magnum had been hurt, they were still happy, and so were you. Your daddy gave Magnum a cool set of wheelies that let him play again, and he gave Johnny a pair of wheelies that let him walk again. Daddy is the best, even if Magnum and Johnny think his not fluff leggies are silly.
You also have a new brother, a pointy wingy babbeh named Lucas. Despite what other fluffies had told you about fluffies with wings and a horn (Munstah fluffies, they called them), Lucas is really nice! He’s littler than you and your brothers, but daddy said that was because he’s younger.
You like to play with your brothers and daddy and uncle Max, but sometimes you just want to explore on your own. Daddy told you not to go past the sidewalk, but that still gave you plenty of room to explore. “I’ll take you on a little walk later, Nebula. Then we can explore to our hearts content!” Plus, uncle Max was watching you while you explored, and uncle Max was a nice man. Even if he was a little silly.
You had just found a pretty looking rock, and had picked it up with your mouth, when you heard two fluffies talking.
“Gu say hewwo, dummeh! Kebin wan pwetty speciaw fwien, wight?”
You knew what special friends are, and special huggies, and babies, and stuff like that, but daddy had said no babies or special huggies, and that was okay with you. While you liked the idea of having babies, you also knew they were a lot of work, and you had to take care of your brothers. They depend on you, since you’re their big sister!
“O-otay, Cwaig is su smawty, su Kebin wiww twy.”
From behind the tree, a fluffy steps out, about the same size as you. He’s an earthie, with pretty white fluff and a teal mane. “H-hewwo, am Kebin. Do p-pwetty fwuffy hab namsie?”
You giggle a little. He sounds like daddy whenever someone says his outfit is pretty! “Fwuffy name am Nebuwa! Wan be nyu fwien?”
Kevin digs at the ground with his hoof. “W-weww, Kebin was w-wondewing if pwetty Nebuwa wan be s-speciaw fwien.”
You smile at him. “Nu tank yu, daddeh say nu speciaw fwiens, bu’ Nebuwa can be nowmaw fwien!” Kevin looks a little sad, but when you mention being normal friends he smiles. “Kebin wike dat. Mummah say Kebin nu can hab speciaw fwien anyway.”
“Nu! Dummeh! Dat nu how yu get speciaw fwien! Cwaig wiww show how it dun!”
A dark blue fluffed, light green mane, unicorn fluffy steps out from behind the tree. He looks at you and grins. Not a nice grin like Kevins, but a meanie grin that almost seems to say ‘Fwuffy bettah den yu.’ Kevin runs to hide behind the tree. “S-sowwy Cwaig, pwease nu yeww at Kebin!”
“Pwetty mawe gib Cwaig speciaw huggies an’ good feews.” He grins, and runs up behind you. Suddenly, you feel something touch your no-no spot, and you let out a little scree! “Uncwe Max! Hewp!” You look over, and Uncle Max is helping Magnum out after Magnum accidentally got stuck in a hole.
“Nu make dummeh scree noise, dummeh mawe! Cwaig nee’ concentwate to do speciaw huggies. (nu can fine speciaw spot…)” Your little mind is working as fast as it can to think of a way out of this horrible situation. You think back to this morning when you were watching TV with your brothers. You think about the funny little human on TV who learned how to protect himself by kicking meanies in the special lumps. You grin a little, and summon all your strength and courage.
“DAT NEBUWA PUWSE, NEBUWA NU KNO YU!”
You kick out your back leg, and feel it collide with something squishy. “SCREEEEEEE! WOWSTEST SPECIAW WUMP HUWTIES!!” The meanie smarty relinquishes his hold on you, and you run away as fast as you can to Uncle Max!
COOL PERSPECTIVE SHIFT AGAIN (Jack)
After what felt like 30 minutes, and a few close calls of pissing yourself, you finally found the bathroom. Turns out it was actually really close by. You do your business, and then proceed to call the vet and schedule the appointments.
Right as the call ends, you hear what sounds like a fluffy screaming its head off. “Oh goddammit, Max.”
You sprint over to a tree, where you find a fluffy rolling on the ground clutching its groin, and another fluffy standing nearby looking slightly concerned, but also giggling a little.
“Huu, no-noes su huwties… Why dummeh mawe huwt wumps?” The fluffy that isn’t writhing around in the dirt just stares. “Kebin nu gib huggies now, Cwaig was meanie. Nu mean nu!” You walk over to Max, just as an old man comes over. “Dammit, Kevin, I told you not to play with Craig! He’s a bad influence!”
“B-buh daddeh, Kebin make nyu fwiend! Nu eben nee’ speciaw huggies!” The old man sighs and looks at you. He’s bald, but he has a kickass mustache. “I’m terribly sorry, Kevin is a little too explorative for his own good, and a little too trusting.” He looks over to the fluffy on the ground. “Craig, I’m gonna have a serious talk with your owner after this.”
“N-nu! Nu teww mummah! Huu, wumps su huwties…”
“Daddeh, can Kebin pway wif Nebuwa? Nebuwa nyu fwien an’ nice fwuffy.” The old man sighs again. “Maybe some other time Kevin, I’m exhausted.” He looks over to you. “Young lady, what’s your name?” You chuckle a little. “Jack, sir.”
“Jack… Odd name for a girl, but I just realized I was mistaken. Well, Jack, my name is Rex, and if you ever want to bring your Nebula over to play, or want to have a play date with Kevin, here’s my number. Kevin doesn’t have a lot of friends, so the fact that he was able to make one today is a big accomplishment.”
You write down the number in your phone, shake hands with the old man, and he leaves, taking the fluffy on the ground with him.
“Hey, uh, Max? What the hell happened while I was gone?” Max looks at you.
“Well, uh, Magnum got stuck in a tiny pothole, so I had to help him out, and while I was doing that Nebula got into a fight with another fluffy, I think. Maybe she could tell you better.” He hands Nebula to you.
“Meanie smawty fwuffy twy gib Nebuwa bad huggies, bu’ Nebuwa say ‘Dat Nebuwa puwse! Nebuwa nu kno yu!’ an’ gib him wowstest speciaw wump owwies. Wish Nebuwa could hab pwayed wif Kebin…”
“Well, I’ll take you to play with him some other time. For now, I think we’ve had enough of the park. I’m proud of you Nebula, but please promise me one thing.”
“Yus, daddeh?”
“Please don’t do everything you see on TV.”

[SP] A dragon saves the knight in shining armor from the princess

Well... this turned into a wild ride of a response. I woke and immediately responded to this simple prompt which... well which led to... this thing. Enjoy!
The forlorn Reginald stared out into the night's sky. He looked through the window of his lofty bed-chamber in the highest part of the castle. He sat himself on the large king-sized bed with sheets of silk that would make any soldier feel a sense of true luxury. Reginald clenched the silks and felt his heart tremble with emptiness.
He felt the tears as they came tumbling down his face as he remembered his life before becoming a prince.
Reginald sat there, sobbing, as he reminisced about the journeys he would go on. He used to have all sorts of wonderful adventures when he was a knight of the land, well, more like the blight of the land. No one knew that Reginald conned most of the things he did, other than Malthazar and Calisto, but those two wouldn't call him a blight. No, that was reserved for all the lives that were probably lost thanks to Reginald's ruse.
But Timmy, Reginald's orphan squire thought the world of Reginald... or at least Reginald assumed the orphan boy did. The only real thing Reginald could remember of Timmy was his horrified look whenever they breached a villainous hideout.
A look so filled with dread that the vampire lord Brettlan had taken a special interest in him, or at least that's what Reginald thought. Brettlan kept saying something about wanting to get closer to the boy - saying that he needed to teach the boy things that only a father could. Reginald scoffed at that. Vampire lords couldn't have children, everyone knew that to be true from the rumors they heard.
The only thing that Brettlan taught that day was how to take a proper beating from a con-man knight. Reginald gave a tearful smile at those days.
He even remembered the time when he had to fight off pirates. The dread captain Calisto had been a scourage to the seven seas. Calisto would always be there somewhere on the high seas stealing from some poor sod - usually, it was Reginald's employer. In fact, it was thanks to dread captain Calisto that Reginald even became a knight. Through a series of fortune events, Calisto drunkenly admitted to being bested by Reginald. The news went throughout the kingdom and landed Reginald a place as the first-ever knight of the seas.
Reginald had just been a sailor with the courage to challenge the fearsome pirate to a drinking game. Apparently, years of alcoholic debauchery had given Reginald a hoppy fortitude that survived the slurred insults of a dread captain. He was either brave or just competently stupid enough to survive.
But now, Reginald couldn't even look his future wife in the eyes. He had saved Cynthia, the princess of Weiland, from the dragon Malthazar. Reginald thought it more accurate to say that he had convinced rather than saved. Saved had notions of chivalry and bravery. He had just convinced Malthazar to let him take the princess.
It was known throughout the lands that the red-scaled dragon had a penchant for stealing away young princesses and keeping them captive. But that was mostly because of Reginald. He was the one that came up with the idea.
Before his life as a sailor, he had helped the dragon. As for why Reginald would help? Well, they were, as they would say it, homies. A memory struck Reginald like a speeding arrow.
"Yo, Regi, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" The dragon asked him one day as a princess went passing by in a carriage. Back then, Reginald and Malthazar had been one part thief and one part a torrent of terror. It had worked well enough to secure Malthazar enough money to survive without Reginald.
But, they still loved each other. Every time they'd see each other, they'd chant one single phrase over and over again. That phrase was, "Dudes rock." As for what it meant or if it held any meaning? Not really. They just liked how the words would tumble from their lips.
They knew each other from childhood and had watched out for each other for years. Reginald could still remember their first meeting, sorrow stabbing him through again at the thought.
"Ey, you a dragon or something?" Malthazar had asked with a gravely adolescent voice all those years ago. Reginald felt a renewal of the watery assault coming from his eyes as he thought about the wonderful day in a green undergrowth near Reginald's home village.
"Nah, you a human? You don't look nothing like a human I ever seen," the child Reginald had said with hand gestures, imitating the adults of his village.
The dragon's head had recoiled to the left, its neck curved from the cringe that the dragon must have felt. "You think I got me some fleshy bits like yous? Nah, all scales here, baby!"
Reginald was now a sobbing, wailing man in that bedroom chamber. The memories stung at him like a cut from Calisto would or a claw from Brettlan. He had left Malthazar once the dragon had enough of a horde to generate new would-be heroes that he could cut down. That was when Reginald had left to become a sailor and find the most beautiful treasures for the horde.
But then Reginald fell for another trap.
Royal life.
Once Reginald became a knight, he discovered how expensive and nice royalty had it. He would go to such lavish balls and dinners that he needed more. He thought marrying a princess would be the best bet.
He remembered what Malthazar was doing, and at the time, an ingenious plan came hurtling into his mind.
Reginald had dropped Timmy off with Brettlan, the vampire lord. He had no real good reason to other than the fact he knew the vampire lord would take care of Timmy. The creature of the night seemed to always have a guest room ready for the boy. So, Reginald figured the vampire cared about the boy enough to take care of him. Even though Timmy pleaded against it, Reginald just shrugged and figured no harm, no foul.
He rushed back to his old childhood dragon friend. He would need the massive creature for this plan to work.
When Reginald had found Malthazar upon his opulent pile of gold, Reginald pitched the idea.
"Ey yo Malthy, how's about this. How's about you steal a broad and I come to save her. Then I get married to her and get all their fortune. I come back, and boom, you's and I are worth a kingdom in gold, eh?"
Malthazar agreed in an instant. "See this is why I like you Regi, always coming up with these good plans. Never say I doubted that noggin."
With that, the plan was sprung. Malthazar captured Cynthia, and Reginald had saved her.
That was his downfall.
Now as a prince, Reginald didn't have all the freedom he was so used to. He couldn't just go off and roam the high seas. He couldn't just go fight vampires now. He also most certainly could not see his scaly childhood friend.
It was safe to say that Reginald held a broken heart even though he inflicted the pain upon himself. Had he not been so greedy for gold, then he would still be out there on the seven seas or even spending time with his dragon friend. Or possibly taking care of his squirely ward.
But Reginald's sorrow flew away as a sudden gust of wind slammed through his bedroom chamber. He looked out to the black night sky but discovered it was red with scales now.
Malthazar came to visit him. On his back was Dread Captain Calisto, Vampire Lord Brettlan, and even Timmy - who was now paler than before.
"Guys!" Reginald came bounding up to the window while he cleared his face of tears. "What's you doing here?"
Malthazar was the first to speak. "What does it look like, huh? We're saving you, don't you know?"
Reginald's eyes went wide. They were saving him? That didn't sound right. "What's you mean you saving me? Can't you see I'm cryin' over here, huh? I didn't know I needed saving from water."
Dread Captain Calisto cleared their throat. A voice that sounded like a female trying to fake a male's voice came sauntering through the air. "Well, I remember saving you a few times from the sea if I remember correctly."
Reginald shot the captain a look filled with contempt. "Eh, what's you doing here huh? I thought you's supposed to be doing your sailing and what not?"
Calisto shook their head. "Not any more thanks to you. Now, whenever I board a vessel they just give me money. Turns out they don't want to fight a friend of Weiland's new royalty. Do you know how much I miss the action?"
Reginald nodded at that. He knew exactly the feeling. It was the same reason he had just been sobbing himself into a puddle earlier. He missed the thrill of battle. Then he looked at her confused.
"Wait but I was fighting you. We ain't no friends!"
Calisto shook her head in dismay.
"I told them the same thing. It seems that everyone on the high seas thinks otherwise. Someone apparently spread rumors that we were friends before you became a knight. Whoever did that, I am going to kill them. I miss the thrill!"
Reginald quietly nodded at that and made a mental note to never tell Calisto he had been the one that started those rumors. He thought they would have saved him. Now those rumors would put him in hot water, which he would absolutely need saving from.
Finally, Reginald looked over at Brettlan and Timmy. "So, now I know why those two are here. But why are you two here, huh?"
Brettlan was the first to speak between the pair. "Father-son bonding time, of course! Do you know how many years of my son's life I missed? I need to catch up to all of them! Plus he wanted to see you! The boy has been saying how much he missed your ill-aligned morals!"
Timmy's lips went tight thin as he heard the words. He didn't want the last part coming out, but he did miss Reginald. Something about watching a man choose the absolutely wrong choice every time and getting out of trouble intrigued Timmy. "Yep," Timmy began hesitantly, "he's my dad. Turns out when your father is a vampire, it's really hard to see your half-human son. Everyone still thinks the vampire wants to kill you."
Brettlan's head oscillated up and down at an alarming speed from those words. "The custody battles I had to fight just to get my son! It was nonsense. Now, look at him! He is finally coming into his own vampire powers!"
"Wait but how'd you win the custody battle?"
Brettlan laughed at that with such exuberance that Reginald wondered if the rumors about vampires being brooding masterminds held any truth.
"Oh don't be silly! I just won the real battle," Brettlan said as he wiped a humourous tear from his eye. "I just razed the whole village to the ground and bam no more custody battle!"
It seemed the rumor needed to be updated. Vampires could be enthusiastically malevolent.
Reginald slowly nodded at that. If there had been any doubt in Reginald's mind that he was a bad guy, then it was wiped away from Brettlan's words. They were most definitely the bad guys. Then again, Reginald always knew somewhere deep down he was just a con artist moving from one role to another. But he never thought he'd find himself as a prisoner prince.
Reginald looked at Timmy. The now pale man just looked like he hadn't been out in the sun for a while. Reginald shrugged. He hadn't been out in the sun in some time either. But here was his chance.
Malthazar's voice came crunching through the window. "So you gonna hop on or what?"
Now Reginald needed to decide. He could flee from his cage or stay and try to fix things.
Before Reginald could decide what he wanted to do, the door burst open.
It was Cynthia. She would always come by and check on her soon to be husband. At first, she thought him a dashing knight. But when she discovered he was nothing of the sort, she moved out of the room and into another. Reginald had caught her talking to servants about how to "get rid of a pest." At first, he thought nothing of it, but when his bowls of soup started to leave him feeling a little too under the weather, he caught on just who was the pest.
Then came the accidents and the near-death experiences, and the assassins. Reginald actually liked the assassins. They used to try and kill him before he went to sleep. The extra action would be enough excitement to make him happy again. But Reginald had defeated enough of the assassins to the point where they would take the job, but just come keep Reginald company. Reginald had won a lot of money from all the impromptu poker games in his little prison of a room.
But Reginald couldn't think about his swathes of ill-gotten finances. He needed to react to his now seething fiancee as saw the furious look on her face.
"What are YOU do-," she tried to say but was cut off by the sudden rush of movement. Reginald sprinted towards the window and jumped out. As it turned out, jumping out of a window was preferable to chatting with Cynthia.
Malthazar caught him on his back and the group went flying away. But Cynthia heard something in the night's sky. She heard the torrent of chanting that came from the group that was flying away.
It was a simple phrase repeated over and over again. "Dudes rock."
Cynthia snarled at the sight. "Oh, now I am definitely going to kill you," she said with pure vitriol in her voice.
She angrily marched out of the room and slammed the door behind her. Then, like shadows in the night, four assassins reluctantly came out of their hiding spaces. Each one of them held a different item of food. One had packaged alcohol, another had a box of something called a "pizza," the last two had the various bags of poker chips and cards they had planned to use that night.
"So," one of them began, "that was wild..."
"Yep..." Another said.
"... So do you all want to play, or should we head out?"
The other three looked at each other and shrugged.
"We are already here... I mean might as well, right?"
The four of them nodded in agreement. They set up on the empty table near the window and began their nightly game of poker.
After halfway through the game, one of them looked up and asked something that should have been the first thing the assassins deliberated on.
"So... you think we should tell Regi?"
One of the assassins looked up and her face contorted into something of cringed concern. "... Yeah... Yeah we should."
They all absently nodded at that as they continued their game of poker.

I abandoned VR as an early user. I came back to try the Quest 2 and HOLY S#*!, I'm completely blown away by the experience. If you are on the fence, BUY ONE. VR is ready in 2020.

This is a long post but I wanted to give my full impressions on the experience with details in case anyone is interested in the thoughts of a brand new user to the Quest.
TL;DR: Tried Gear VR in 2015 but was put off by screen door effect, motion sickness, lack of degrees of freedom, lack of games and experiences. Considered Tethered VR but was put off by the barriers to entry and the expensive hardware needed. Now in 2020 saw the Quest 2 with the $299 price tag and no extra hardware or tether needed. Picked one up all those early problems have been SOLVED and VR is now ready for mass adoption . It's a true enjoyable experience and IMO is a great tool to spend time with friends in family in a virtual way in todays environment.

----
So I've always been fascinated by the idea of Virtual Reality even as a kid. The idea of escaping into another world and living out all the things my imagination could generate really appealed to me. Back in the 90's I even owned a Nintendo Virtual Boy. I happily played 3D tennis and Tetris thinking the future was now. Fast forward to the early 2010's when the Oculus Rift developer kit was first available. I thought it was really cool but with all the various barriers to entry and being a non consumer product I avoided it.
Then 2015 hit and the Gear VR was announced. For $99 I could be "in VR" with my already existing smartphone, totally wireless with no high end PC needed. I had to try it. My initial experience was one of amazement. Watching netflix on that virtual couch, talking to others online, or watching 360 video experiences was just awesome. I shared it with every friend and family member I could and we played dreadhalls, the manor, etc for some jump scare fun. However, I am very prone to motion sickness so something always felt "off" to me and I could never use it for more than 20 minutes without feeling ill. On top of that the screen door effect was very distracting and having to use a bluetooth gaming controller really effected the experience for me without any sort of hand presence.
I put down the gear VR in 2016 and never went back. It just wasn't polished enough for me or "ready" for what I wanted VR to be. Over the years I followed VR and saw the developments in tracking, controllers, and screen resolution. Now we are talking! However, you still needed a high end gaming PC and the experience was tethered. So I stayed away. Then the quest hit. THIS is what I was waiting for, but I figured the games would be limited and you can't play PC VR titles, so I stayed away still.
When the Quest 2 was announced and I saw the specs and found out you could play PC titles from Steam wired OR wirelessly, on top of being only $299, I knew this was the time to take action. I picked one up from Best Buy a few weeks ago. My first reaction when loading it up coming from an S6 with Gear VR was that the screen door effect was GONE. Wow! This is how imagined the future of VR would look. Everything was super clear and sharp. Next, the in VR software and overall experience was super polished and felt like what a next gen product should be. Even just setting up the guardian system really impressed me by how cool it was and how well it worked, as that was an issue for me with the Gear VR that was solved by the quest.
Once that was done and after briefly changing some settings, I loaded up the first steps tutorial. When I first saw my hands in VR and started playing with the objects on the table, I have to admit as a 35 year old man I was absolutely giddy with excitement. Something I haven't felt in YEARS since I was a kid. Next I loaded up the dancing robot and it was just the coolest little experience dancing with him and playing around. I could swear that robot was right in front of me it looked so damn good. On top of all that the "6 degrees of freedom" with the ability to walk around and actually lean in to look at things was a total game changer. I felt like I was really IN VR and fully immersed with a real presence in the virtual world.
Before I knew it, an hour had gone by and I had ZERO motion sickness. Something I could never do with the Gear VR. I think it has to do with the refresh rate and the fact that all my head motion is fully tracked. It really does fool my brain into thinking what I am seeing is real and my brain is happy and no sickness.
It's been a few weeks since and I have been using it daily for hours. I've since tried many difference experiences and games. The highlight for me has to be Beat Saber. Wow. I've never played a more fun or immersive game in my life. With a good pair of Bose noise canceling headphones it's just the most amazing experience slashing those boxes to your favorite music. Also love Super Hot and Pistol Whip, those games me me feel like I'm in the future I imagined as a kid in the 90's more than anything I've done. I really makes you feel like you are Neo in the matrix or an unstoppable action hero like John Wick. They are a great workout on top of everything. If you are new to oculus or getting a Quest, these 3 are must haves. You will thank me later.
Then we have the social experiences. I lost track of the hours I've spent playing poker or blackjack with strangers, throwing my chips at people, smoking virtual cigars and chatting about life. It's a true escape from the stress of daily life. I also enjoy watching movies with others on "BigScreen" and tossing tomato's at the screen or just hanging out.
Then I learned about SideQuest and the first thing I did was turn on 90hz mode, WOW. This made a massive difference in how smooth and fluid most games were. When it ran well, it added to the realism by a huge factor. An example being the in game menus in BigScreen when they move its so fluid its like they are floating and moving in real life. For me personally, refresh rate is the biggest factor in my immersion into VR and to avoid motion sickness. 90hz on beat saber is way better and on top of that I installed a bunch of custom songs and that turned the experience from an awesome one to an unforgettable one. Then I got virtual desktop and WOW. Being able to WIRELESSLY play Steam VR games (like The Lab, highly recommended) with no noticeable latency is insane to me and being able to control my computer from VR. Worth every penny of the $20.
In summary, I'm super excited where VR is going from here, but right now in 2020 we have a device that solves all the early VR problems and puts it all in a polished consumer product that is FULLY WIRELESS and requires no outside hardware all for a low price $299. I cannot recommend or praise the Quest 2 enough. If you are thinking about buying one or as a gift for a friend or loved one, do it and you will thank me later. This product has added true value to my life and now I will be an ambassador to all my friends and family and show them what the Quest 2 can do, especially in todays environment where staying connected to the people in our lives without physically being there is a factor, this is the product we need right now.

Responses to Rude Attempts to Chop

I died over a year ago. I just woke up (part 3)

Hello everyone. I know it’s been a year since I shared my story. Everything that has happened, was so hard to keep up with, I wanted to wait until it was all over to share the rest. Here is the beginning of your closure.
Casey Jones.
There she stood, feigning fearlessness, but her trembling arms gave her true demeanour away.
She scowled, her deep smile lines protruding around the sides of her mouth.
She did not look happy to see me. If anything, more confused and angry.
”Who are you?” She barked defensively, hands practically glued to the bat.
My words failed me. I didn’t know whether to be overjoyed that Dustin’s dead girls were rising from the dead, or fucking terrified.
”What’s a matter wit’ ya? Huh? Cat got your tongue?” She shouted in what appeared to be a thick Brooklyn accent.
”C-Casey Jones?” I asked, standing like a deer in headlights.
I meekly stuck out my hand. ”I’m Fiona. Fiona Holiday.”
She stood, staring deeply at my now quivering hand. ”Hold up, that dead girls grave next to me? That’s you?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat.
”Christ,” she laughed manically. ”What’s going on here? Because I would really like to know,” she said, raising the bat behind her.
”Whoa whoa whoa. Hey. I was the first one to wake up,” I said, easing the bat from her hands.
”Alright blondie, why don’t you tell me how this all fuckin’ happened.”
”Okay, Casey. A couple days ago, I woke up in a coffin. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.. and I managed to claw my way to the surface. I don’t know how long that took. I noticed the bracelet on my arm...”
Casey glanced down toward her bracelet, and then at mine. Gold and engraved.
”Okay, so what?” She waved her hand, motioning me to get to the point.
”I looked around and noticed 5 more makeshift tombstones. Three to my left, and two to my right. You were the one directly to my left. I didn’t believe anything that was happening. I started to dig up your grave and...”
”I wasn’t in a nice little coffin like you,” she interrupted, finishing my sentence.
”...yeah. I grabbed your hand and saw the same bracelet on your wrist that was on mine. I realised that all 6 of us were victims of some man who-“
”Pfft. Man? You call the psycho who probably played poker with the night stalker and decided to kidnap underage girls a man? C’mon, blondie. Don’t humanise the fucker,” she quipped.
”Honestly, if he had the balls to show his face around here right now, I would make sure he can never jack off again.”
She blew a strand of fiery red hair away from her face.
”You didn’t see him?” I asked, remembering the shocking discovery I made in the first place upon arrival.
”Who? this ‘Dustin’ or whatever the fuck he calls himself? Goldilocks, if I did, do you really think he’d still be alive right now?”
”I smashed his head repeatedly with the very bat you’re holding in your hand right now. Then I left to seek shelter so I could figure out what to do...”
”Looks like I underestimated the strength in the size of you .”
This time, I shot her a look.
”What? You look like a daisy. Nothing wrong with it.”
”Anyway,” Casey continued. ”You didn’t go to the fuzz did ya?”
”No, of course not I-“
”Do you have any idea what they would do to us? Send us off to some science lab and attach us to machines, and experiment until they kill us. Heh. Sounds about right.”
”Anyway, if you smashed Dustin’s brains in, where the hell did he go? Don’t tell me he rose from the dead in seconds whereas for us it took fuckin’ years,” she scoffed.
”I’m not sure.. honestly, I thought I hit him good. Hard enough to be unconscious for a long time. He seemed to have recovered quick enough to up and run.”
” ‘Unconscious’ isn’t good enough. Comatose, or dead. Otherwise you didn’t do the job,” Casey sneered.
”Alright Merida, if you know what’s best, why don’t you go ahead and decide what to do next?”
”I’m no Scott Princess. I just wanna find the dude, properly bash his brains in, and go back home to my old man.”
”What about the other girls? What happens to them?”
”They’ll figure it out. If we take the problem out, they’ll be fine if or when they wake up.”
”Don’t be cold. You woke up a day after I did, and you died a year before me. What’s not to say.. err.. Vanessa Walters won’t wake up tomorrow? And Delilah Woods the next?”
”Vanessa Walters. Huh. That girl was a train wreck.”
She really had my attention now.
”How did you know her?”
”He took me 10 days before he killed her. She loved him to death. Even that, was an understatement. Girl had a big bad case of Stockholm syndrome. Gave me the heebie jeebies, but I felt bad for her. What can you do? If a sicko can easily take a girl in broad daylight. he can just as easily get into her head. But not mine!” She retorted.
”Right. I say we stay here tonight and see if there’s a chance that Vanessa wakes up tomorrow.”
”Are you nuts? I’m not staying another night in H.H Holmes’ Murder Castle. You picked the wrong girl to be stupid with.”
”You’re also the only girl with me right now. If we stick together, we can wake the others up and have a chance at finding Dustin.”
”How do you think this’ll help us find him?”
”Every girl must have different memories and experiences with him. Maybe he took them places, or told them things he never told the others. Was Vanessa his favourite?”
”Oh yeah. For sure. I went garbage diving while she got sugar cubes and TV dinners.”
”Haha. I’m serious, Casey.”
”Yeah. She seemed like the only girl who actually developed an obsessive attachment to him, just like he wanted. Don’t know why he killed her. He couldn’t get that from us.”
”Why did he kill her?” I asked with sadness in my voice.
”Look blondie, I just said I don’t know, alright? He was giving me more attention than usual one night, which I resisted, and she got a bit jealous. The next morning, she was gone and he told me he released her. I knew it was a fuckin’ lie, though.”
I started to laugh.
”What’s so funny?”
”You’re not at all what I pictured. Maybe you really were a different person before everything happened.”
”The hell is that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
”Casey, when I left yesterday up the mountain to find shelter, I hitchhiked and a man picked me up and drove me 5 miles to a woman’s shelter,”
”Your point?”
“I think he was your dad. Frank Jones?”
Her horror-ridden face softened for the first time.
”How- where is he? Does he still live with mom back at home?”
”He didn’t tell me much, just that his 15 year old daughter went missing in 2016. And, since you were killed in 2017, that would make you around 18 years old now..”
For once, there was no remark from Casey Jones.
She was stripped back down to a scared little girl, crying for her Father in the back of a van with a man she once trusted.
Flashback
Red and green girl, swinging on the swing set. She’s trying to see how high she can swing. The tips of her cherry worn-out sneakers touch the sky, and pierce through the clouds.
This is the most free she had ever felt, and the last, for the duration of her first life. Her perfect, undisturbed, cookie cutter life. A perfect cookie cutter family in a new cookie cutter neighbourhood. The friendly Californians brought pies to the Jones’ residence, who just moved from Brooklyn. A squeaky clean “Welcome” mat on the spotless swept ground.
Tuesdays are the worst. After enduring expensive piano lessons she was forced into for an hour, the swings at the local park were the only taste of relief she could get on a Tuesday.
A misplaced van with rotting colours enters the perfect scene. Paint chips that look like claw marks flash all over the sides. Tinted windows. Curiosity and Casey were never a good team. Red and green girl runs over to get a closer look. A hand snakes out the abruptly opened door, and takes the fifteen and pristine girl, scribbles all over her, until she’s fifteen, obscene, and dark all over.
She saw 5,475 sunrises and sunsets. She was supposed to live to her 30,000 goal.
The Cookie Monster took the crumbling cookie girl from the cookie cutter neighbourhood, and devoured Casey Jones until she was spat out bitter.
”Casey? Casey?” I asked. Fanning my hand in front of her face. She was in a daze. After getting a good look at her eyes, they weren’t intimidating at all. I know this now.
”Yeah. That’s my dad. After all these years I can still hear the way he snorts when he laughs. And the way he mispronounces ‘February’ “.
So she did have her memories back.
”What about you? You got folks?”
It stung.
”My mother ate a bottle of pills a few months after my disappearance, and my dad found her. I don’t know his whereabouts.”
”Ouch. I’m sorry. To be honest, my mother was pretty selfish. I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot I existed.”
”Don’t be silly. A mother’s love is the most powerful thing.”
”Sometimes. Unless you’re their mirror, but a reflection of everything they wanted to be, and they secretly resent you for it.”
There was a long pause, until she broke the silence, once again.
”Fuck it. We’ll sleep here tonight. Inside by the door. But not at the same time, one of us has to keep watch in case Hannibal Lecter comes back. I’ll take first watch. I’m not going to sleep so soon again, for christ’s sake.”
I did a double take at the silver cross necklace she had hiding underneath her stained shirt.
”Is it the walking dead escapee outfit or the necklace?” she snorted, catching my gaze.
”Whatever. I got murdered, I came back to life. I ain’t never seen that in the whole goddamn bible. You best believe I’m a changed woman now.”
We shared a genuine laugh together. My first real laugh in years.
”Better get a head start on the rest blondie. I don’t think there’ll be coffee around here.”
”Right, right. Goodnight.”
”Awe man, don’t you go saying that, you’re closing your eyes for a hot minute. Stay alive for me until I wake you up.”
I sighed in response and rested my head on the wooden floor. I wondered how many bodies had been dragged across this floor. Had been killed on this floor. Had clawed at this floor. Had hit this floor. I sat upright, and decidedly positioned myself against the door frame instead. I’m safe.
I was shaken violently awake, an hour later.
There was a noise coming from outside in the backyard. Casey was the first to jump up, swinging the baseball bat blindly against the air in the darkened house. She crept toward the back garden, and I stayed low behind her.
She turned to me, gazed into my dilated pupils and put her finger against her lips. Our rapid breathing could make us heard.
She slid open the back door, and we stepped out onto the cool concrete.
We abruptly looked both ways, multiple times, before finding middle ground on the soft grass. In front of the other 4 graves.
”Come out, fucker,” she mumbled under her breath. My body betrayed me, and I coughed. Loud.
”Shit shit shit...” she said, the noise we were trying to locate ceased.
I mouthed ”I’m sorry” and we crouched down low. I couldn’t help but gaze down at my left. Vanessa Walters laying just beneath me. I was trembling so much, i could’ve swore it was the dirt beneath us.
”I think it was an animal,” Casey groaned.
”Hey! Earth to Fiona!” She said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.
”We got bigger problems missy.”
I pressed my hand against Vanessa’s tombstone one last time, and stood back up, stretching my arms above my head.
We walked back into the house and sat ourselves back down in the same spot as before. It was 1am. There was nothing left to do but wait.
I had nothing on my mind but Vanessa Walters, and the what if’s and the should haves. Would she stay loyal to Dustin? Or would she want revenge?
As for Casey, the girl was half hell. But, that night, the look in her eyes said she wished she never woke up

what are the best poker chips made of video

If you're interested in authenticity, then you'll want to confirm that a set's chips have been made out of molded clay. Any poker chips that are made out of plastic (or some other compressed material) may look fairly similar, but they will not have the same finish, and they will not have that trademark "clink" whenever you toss them into the pot. Faux clay chips, as the name implies, are not made of clay, but of some proprietary substance that gives the chip a heavier feel and a dusted surface (as though the chip were coated in a talc-like material) that makes them far less slippery than the cheaper chips. Most places you check will tell you these are perfectly acceptable for home play. Don’t believe them. Mid-Range Poker Chips Like ... This Pro Clay Poker Set provides the most authentic experience possible and comes with some extra items not found in many other poker sets. The chips are made from casino-grade clay, so they are heavy with an authentic feel. There are 320 chips in total. Chips are labeled with 1, 5, 25, 50, 100, 500, 1000. Finding the best poker chips is not an easy task, especially if you are a beginner in casino games. We are going to help you with it and we are going to help you learn how to recognize which chips are good and which are most likely to get damaged in no time. Types of Poker Chips. These are the most common types. Plastic Chips img source: amazon.com. There are 2 under types of common plastic ... Home poker chips are quite inexpensive and are usually made from plastic with a metal disc in the center in order to increase its weight. The type of poker chips to be purchased depends on the taste and the budget of the customer and while there are several inexpensive home poker chips available these are usually not of a very good quality. The most popular materials for poker chips are plastic or composite for casual use, and ceramic or clay for casino or professional quality. Ceramic tend to be more expensive and have a slick texture, but they are highly durable. There is no standard weight for poker chips, but they are typically between 8.5 and 14 grams with 11.5 being the most popular weight for a durable starter set. Top 3 Tips for Choosing Best Poker Chips for Your Home Games Author: Tadas Peckaitis August 24, 2020. After quite a lengthy break from any live poker action, I was happy to finally join a game last week, and that inspired me to write this article. I am sure many of you are eagerly waiting for the return of live games, so if you decide to organize your own, remember that having the right poker ... Clay composite chips Slightly more expensive, and by far the most common chips that are sold to poker players today, are the metal filled, clay composite chips, with a myriad of different designs,... 3) Premier Poker Chips – £ Premier Poker Chips is a Cambridge based company with a large selection of poker chips from clay poker chips uk to a luxury poker set. You can get a sample pack of their super heavy 14g Crown Casino Royale Poker Chips which contains all 8 chips and are made from a clay composite material. Chips area said to have a ‘pleasing clunk when rifling’ which we can vouch for to the annoyance of colleagues near our desk! The Fat Cat Clay Poker Set is made for enthusiasts and the fat cats hosting a poker game with up to ten players. The set features 500 11.5-gram striped dice chips made from claytec and two decks of cards, this set is a perfect long-term investment. The best thing about Fat Cat’s poker chips is that they feature alternating stripes. This classic design gives them a sleeker and more professional look.

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